Women’s Powers of Persuasion : Politics: A survey of 25 top women politicians reveals that they grew up with influential messages from their parents that they could be whatever they wanted.

They didn’t grow up dreaming of the U.S. Senate. They wanted to be nurses or teachers or ballerinas. One just wanted to be “rich and famous.”

But with few exceptions, most of the nation’s most powerful female politicians grew up with the message that they could be whatever they wanted, according to the authors of a new survey of 25 top women in politics.

These women--including U.S. Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-Md.), Texas Gov. Ann Richards and U.S. Congresswomen Patricia Schroeder (D.-Colo.) and Barbara Boxer (D.-Calif.)--were loved, nurtured and told to take risks as children, say the survey’s authors, psychologists Dorothy W. Cantor and Toni Bernay.

Cantor and Bernay, who on Sunday presented their findings at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Assn., said they were interested in finding out what drove these women to success with so few political role models for women. Their findings are summarized in the new book “Women in Power: The Secrets of Leadership.”

“The women we interviewed for this book are the first cadre of top political women leaders to be analyzed as models of power and leadership,” said Cantor, a Westfield, N.J., psychologist.

What inspired the women to become political leaders may not be relevant to future generations, which could have more role models, pending this year’s elections. Eighteen women are seeking U.S. Senate seats and 154 are seeking House seats.

Nevertheless, Cantor and Bernay suggest their findings say much about what helps women break the “glass ceiling” to achieve business leadership positions, too.

In particular, the 25 elected women surveyed typically mentioned five influential messages they received as children:

* That they were loved and special.

* That they could do anything they wanted.

* That it’s OK to take risks.

* That they could use “creative aggression,” which Cantor and Bernay describe as a non-destructive assertiveness.

* That they were entitled to dreams of greatness.

The messages that it’s OK to take risks and be aggressive are not ones that little girls typically get, Cantor said.

Schroeder said her mother’s work as a teacher, her parents’ nurturing and their message to her that she could be anything were the key factors in her breaking from the traditional mold of housewife and entering politics.

Likewise, Congresswoman Nita Lowey of New York said: “I was brought up to feel that I could do anything. I could fix anything. All you have to do is set your mind to it.”

Almost all the women had stable family lives and had been appreciated as children.

“I felt I had an effect on my parents and could get them to see and value me,” said Congresswoman Jolene Unsoeld of Washington. “I felt loved, appreciated and admired. I could see their joy and pride in me in their eyes. If they felt that way about me, I must be lovable, admirable, confident, exciting and competent.”

It’s a myth that fathers have the largest influence on whether their daughters are successful, Cantor and Bernay said. In their survey, mothers were significant role models, even though only two worked outside the home.

“The women had very strong, competent mothers,” Cantor said. “Their moms had a voice. They were respected and listened to. So the girls didn’t reject the female part of themselves in order to have a career.”

Of the 25 politicians surveyed, 23 are or have been married and all but two have children.

Still, fathers of these women were influential too. Many remember their fathers telling them that it’s “OK to do whatever boys do.”

Boxer cited a special bond with her father. He was interested in the stock market, and she became a broker. But she also remembers offhand comments from her mother as the seeds of her ambition; 35 years ago Boxer’s mother told her, “You know, there’s only one woman in the U.S. Senate.”

Siblings might also be a factor in the success of these politicians, breaking another myth that only children tend to make the best leaders, Cantor and Bernay said. All but Richards had siblings and only a few were the oldest.

“What children get growing up with siblings is the opportunity to learn very important skills like competitiveness,” Cantor said.

Siblings also learn the limits of aggression (when to give up on a fight and negotiate a compromise), how to band together and loyalty, the authors suggest.

The families of these women also emphasized community service. Many of their mothers belonged to PTA, and six of the women’s fathers held political office.

Most of their families voted and talked politics at the dinner table, inviting their children to share their opinions. Education was strongly emphasized, and 44% of the women politicians surveyed said they attended all-girl schools.

“What women get in single-sex schools is a place where they can hone their leadership skills and where they didn’t have to fear being unfeminine for speaking out,” Cantor said.

The result of this kind of upbringing is that women in the upper echelons of politics appear to possess a strong sense of competence and self-worth, have “creative aggression” and feel they have the power to work for causes they feel strongly about, says Bernay, who has a private practice in Beverly Hills.

The women interviewed strongly denied they faced great obstacles in becoming politicians.

“Most women say, ‘I don’t see the obstacles,’ ” Bernay said. “They have this internal applause that is built on an early experience in their families. They have had someone significant in their lives saying, ‘Wonderful, fabulous.’ It’s a buffering that they get early in life.”

These women are not afraid to make mistakes, as Richards revealed when she talked about the failure of her marriage and her alcoholism.

“One of Ann Richards’ credos in life is that you can make mistakes and come back from it,” Bernay said.

Only two women said they dreamed as children of entering politics. Most did so through leadership roles in education, environment or public policy positions.

“On the whole, they entered politics because they saw something happening and they didn’t like it,” Cantor said. “They would say, ‘I want to be in Congress because I want better health care.’

“I don’t know if that will stay the same. Now that we have this cadre of leaders, little girls may look at them and say, ‘I want to be like Ann Richards.’ ”