COLLEGE FOOTBALL / GENE WOJCIECHOWSKI : Here’s One Award They Should Be Ashamed to Win

And now, our nominees for the Frank Broyles Dunderhead of the Week Award:

1. BRET BIELEMA, IOWA

How proud Iowa Coach Hayden Fry must be of his 1-2 Hawkeyes, who apparently haven’t been taught the finer points of gracious winning.

Moments after Saturday’s 21-7 victory against Iowa State--the 10th consecutive Hawkeye victory against the Cyclones--Bielema, the Iowa nose guard, sought out opposing coach Jim Walden. As Des Moines Register columnist Marc Hansen looked on, Bielema shook Walden’s hand and said: “Coach, you’ve been a big . . . and I’ve enjoyed kicking your . . . the past five years.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” a stunned Walden said.

Bielema apologized for the obscenities, but not for the message itself. Meanwhile, Walden said he still can’t believe what happened.

“I didn’t know how to respond to it Saturday and I don’t know how to respond to it now,” he said. “You can only let your mind run away with you as to why someone would carry that much venom. What’s going on in his mind? What’s being planted there?”

A hint: it isn’t corn.

2. JACKIE SHERRILL, MISSISSIPPI STATE

The Mississippi State coach introduced his team, whether it liked it or not, to the wonderful world of animal elective surgery during the week of the big game against the Texas Longhorns earlier this month.

Imagine everyone’s surprise when Sherrill arranged for his players to view the castration of a 500-pound bull on the Mississippi State practice field. The local Animal Rescue League was certainly thrilled, as was the associate dean of Mississippi State’s veterinary medicine school, who called the procedure “out of place.”

Sherrill told reporters that the castration served an educational and motivational purpose. Sure it did. “Gentlemen, this is what will happen to you if Texas beats us.”

One can only wonder what clever schemes Sherrill will soon contrive. Imagine the possibilities as Sherrill prepares for the rest of the 1992 Mississippi State schedule: Florida (skin a live alligator for commemorative wallets), South Carolina (cockfights), Kentucky (tranquilizer gun contests with a live wildcat), etc.

Explained Sherrill to reporters: “The (bull) is standing in living color today going about his business. Let me put it this way: I don’t think that (bull) was embarrassed.”

But Mississippi State should be.

3. THE PURDUE BOILERMAKERS

Members of the then-17th ranked Cal team emerged from their charter bus last Friday in West Lafayette, Ind., wearing straw hats and chewing on pieces of straw. Or so said several Purdue players, who couldn’t wait to tell their teammates and coaches about Cal’s portrayal of them as country bumpkins.

By the time kickoff arrived, the story had reached near-fairytale proportions.

Final score: Bumpkins 41, Cal 14.

“Maybe they’ll go home in their hats with the straw hanging out of their mouth and think a little more of the Midwest,” Purdue Coach Jim Colletto said after the game.

After the game, one problem: the story wasn’t true. No Cal player arrived wearing a straw hat or chewing on the stuff. So embarrassed was the Purdue athletic director about the misunderstanding that he sent a letter of apology to Cal. Colletto, who had happily used the fabricated story as a motivational tool, also sent a letter of apology.

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And the winner is . . . Mr. 4-H Club himself, Jackie Sherrill. Congratulations, and don’t let it happen again.

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Notre Dame Coach Lou Holtz has won a national championship, we haven’t. That said, it’s still hard to understand why Holtz didn’t state the obvious after last Saturday’s 17-17 game between the Irish and Michigan: That he botched the final 1:05 . . . that while he might not have been playing for a tie, he certainly didn’t look like he was playing for a victory, either . . . that in the long run he might have done more harm than good by playing it safe . . . that he wasted the talents of one of the best college quarterbacks in the country . . . that he didn’t take advantage of a lineup full of high school All-Americans . . . that you don’t need two running plays to figure out Michigan’s defense.

“You have to anticipate what people are going to do,” said a slightly miffed Ken Mirer, father of Irish quarterback Rick Mirer and a former Indiana state high school championship football coach. “How many people are going to sit in the same defense? Hell, they’re going to be in a prevent. Then you’ve got to hope that your quarterback is smart enough to make the right decisions.”

For whatever reason, Holtz didn’t do any of this. He said something about not wanting to punt, about not wanting to throw an interception, about not knowing what Michigan was thinking . . . about not realizing that the clock continued to run after a penalty in that final aborted drive . . . about not knowing what to do if the game was tied.

But shouldn’t he have been prepared for the possibility of a tie? After all, there have been 41 of them in Notre Dame’s history. As for the clock gaffe, weren’t any of the Irish assistant coaches paying attention? Didn’t any of them know the rule?

The bottom line: Notre Dame, tie and all, might still win the national championship. If so, we’ll caddie a round of golf for the links-crazy Holtz. But the Irish players and fans deserve better than a tie and a prayer. They deserved a chance at a victory.

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The season is only about three weeks old and already the number of legitimate Heisman Trophy candidates is down to a precious few. Our preferences: 1) Marshall Faulk, San Diego State running back; 2) Kordell Stewart, Colorado quarterback; 3) Gino Torretta, Miami quarterback, 4) Rick Mirer, Notre Dame quarterback, and 5) Shane Matthews, Florida quarterback.

Faulk is amazing. Stewart’s emergence is stunning. Torretta is tough and underrated. Mirer is both benefactor and victim of Holtz’s offense. Matthews flourishes in Steve Spurrier’s system.

But right now, no one can touch Faulk, whom manycompare to Detroit Lion Barry Sanders. Said Oklahoma State’s Pat Jones, who coached Sanders: “I think (Faulk is) probably cut out of the same mold.”

Jones said he would reserve judgment until seeing Faulk run in person.

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Boston College, winner of 11 games in the previous three seasons, is enjoying a well-earned resurgence. The Eagles are 2-0 and on their way to a 7-4 or 8-3 record, as well as a bowl invitation. So convincing was their victory against Northwestern last Saturday, Wildcat Coach Gary Barnett said the score should have been 100-0. . . . Miami’s chances of winning a second consecutive national title just got a little better. Running back Stephen McGuire, who has been sidelined because of a knee injury, returns to action this week against Florida A&M.; . . . Barring an upset, Texas A&M; has an edge over Washington in the race to end the regular season undefeated. The Huskies still have to play, among others, Nebraska, USC, Cal and Stanford. The Aggies have played their toughest games--Stanford, Louisiana State and Tulsa. All that remains is a game against 0-1 Missouri and a trek through the soft Southwest Conference. Asked to describe a Texas A&M; weakness, Missouri Coach Bob Stull said, “I’m not sure there is one.” . . . Kansas State finally opens its season Saturday against Montana. For this the Wildcats waited longer than anyone else?

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Despite the death of longtime team trainer Tim Kerin, the heart surgery of Coach Johnny Majors, the elevation of Phil Fulmer to interim head coaching status, the hiring of a new defensive coordinator, the loss of 10 defensive starters from last season and the lack of a seasoned starting quarterback, Tennessee is 2-0, including an upset of Georgia last week. . . . An exasperated Bobby Bowden benched new Florida State quarterback Charlie Ward for two plays during the third quarter of last Saturday’s victory against Clemson. Ward has six touchdown passes in two games, as well as eight interceptions and one fumble. But watch Ward for five minutes and you can tell he is potentially the most exciting quarterback in the game. . . . People snickered when Nebraska Coach Tom Osborne said Middle Tennessee State, a Division I-AA opponent used as a last-minute schedule replacement, would provide the Cornhuskers with a surprising test. That was before Nebraska led, 14-7, at halftime. The final score was 48-7, but don’t blame Osborne for this one. He said Nebraska contacted “70-80” schools about a game, but only Middle Tennessee State said it would not insist on a return home engagement. . . . After an 0-2 start and only one touchdown in eight quarters, South Carolina Coach Sparky Woods isn’t wasting time on optimistic gibberish. “We certainly think we can be beaten by anyone,” he said. Reason: The Gamecocks used 68 players in their loss to Arkansas last Saturday. Forty-three of them were freshmen and sophomores. “It’s almost like a junior varsity team the way we’re lined up now,” he said.

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That Ray Perkins magic has yet to take hold at Arkansas State. So far Perkins is 0-2 and has seen his team outscored, 110-0. . . . After reviewing film of Maryland’s 14-10 loss to North Carolina State, a game in which the Terrapins gained 501 yards, West Virginia Coach Don Nehlen noted: “Offensively, they’re throwing the ball all over America. Defensively, I don’t even know what they play.” West Virginia plays Maryland Saturday. . . . Bryan Fortay, who left Miami and transferred to Rutgers in a huff when Coach Dennis Erickson chose Torretta as the starter in 1991, lasted one game as the Scarlet Knight quarterback. He was replaced in the second quarter of last Saturday’s game against Colgate. . . . Just to be on the safe side, a worried Coach Bill Lewis sent letters to each of Georgia Tech’s 12,800 studentsand urged them to attend last Saturday’s game against Western Carolina at Bobby Dodd Stadium (capacity 46,000). The game, which was played about 10 days before classes began at Georgia Tech, drew nearly 42,000. . . .Sherrill might not know much practice etiquette, but he does have the right idea when he says freshmen should be ineligible. Under his plan, a team could recruit 23 freshmen each season and then provide those players with five-year scholarships and four years of eligibility. “The teams that do the best job of keeping those youngsters in school, then they’ll be rewarded,” Sherrill said.

Top 10

As selected by staff writer Gene Wojciechowski

No. Team Record 1. Miami 1-0 2. Washington 2-0 3. Syracuse 2-0 4. Florida State 2-0 5. Oklahoma 2-0 6. Colorado 2-0 7. Nebraska 2-0 8. Texas A&M; 3-0 9. Michigan 0-0-1 10. Notre Dame 1-0-1

Waiting list: Florida (1-0), North Carolina State (3-0), Kansas (2-0), Tennessee (2-0), Penn State (2-0)