They Lived Up to Their Billing as Hoped, Not as Predicted

The Tampa Bay Lightning, one of two NHL expansion teams, is being promoted on everything from billboards to bumper stickers with this slogan: “Kick Ice.”

Noting that Tampa Bay would open the season at home against the established Chicago Blackhawks, Amy Niedzielka, of the Miami Herald, wrote:

“The Lightning will certainly kick ice this season. Problem is, the team will likely kick it in disgust.”

Not so fast, Amy. The Lightning beat the Blackhawks Wednesday night, 7-3.

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Trivia time: Who holds the Ram record for most touchdown passes?

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Whoa: Santa Anita jockey Paul Atkinson didn’t seek any direction from his father when starting out as a rider. Raeo Atkinson is a brakeman for the Union Pacific Railroad.

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What a relief: The New England Patriots’ cheerleading squad, directed and choreographed by Lisa Coles, reportedly became the first unit in the country to volunteer for drug testing.

The tests were administered on Sept. 20. Results? Negative, Coles reported.

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A trend? Golf tournaments have been held to raise money for a lot of causes, so a Florida golfer decided to conduct a tournament to pay costs incurred by his recent divorce.

Ron Simmons of West Palm Beach will hold the tournament Oct. 24 at the PGA National course at Palm Beach Gardens.

The name of the tournament? The Alimony Open, of course.

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Chew on this: Jim Schoenfeld, a former NHL player and coach, who will be the analyst on ESPN’s hockey coverage, once told referee Don Koharski: “Have another doughnut, you fat pig.”

Observed Ray Frager of the Baltimore Sun, “It’s not often sports television can add a man with a touch of the poet.”

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Epitaph: Joe Gergen of Newsday, commenting on the New York Giants, who have a 1-3 record: “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to mourn the passing of an era. The New York Giants--to invoke the wisdom of the late Charles Dressen, who once quarterbacked the Decatur Staleys for George Halas--are dead.

“The team that provided New York with a decade of thrills and two Super Bowl championships is making its last trip to the end zone.

“Move over, Jimmy Hoffa.”

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Add Giants: Joe Gigli, a photographer for the Star-Ledger of Newark, N.J., said he was hassled by Giant Coach Ray Handley before a recent team practice.

“(Handley) definitely went out of his way,” Gigli said. “I guess it’s the only victory he could score, picking on a small guy.”

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“Bucket of blood, Big Red!” In case you missed it, Coe College of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, beat William Penn of Oskaloosa, Iowa, last month, 79-23.

Coe led at halftime, 65-16, as William Penn vainly tried to catch up. Nothing worked as William Penn’s two freshman quarterbacks combined for 63 passes, 19 completions and eight interceptions, four of them returned for touchdowns.

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It figures: Every team in the National League except one finished with a .500 or better record at home this season. The exception? The Dodgers.

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Trash expert: Michael Irvin, a Dallas Cowboy wide receiver, said before last Monday night’s game with Philadelphia that he wouldn’t be drawn into any trash-talking contests with Eagle defensive backs.

“Hey, I’m from the University of Miami, man,” Irvin said. “You think I don’t know how that stuff works?”

Nonetheless, the Cowboys were “trashed” by the Eagles, 31-7.

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Trivia answer: Roman Gabriel, with 154 from 1962 to 1972.

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Quotebook: Raymond Floyd on the biggest difference between the PGA tour and the senior tour: “The rough on the regular tour is penal. On this (senior) tour, you can play out of it.”