At Santa Ana’s Red Onion, the KROQ Generation Is Hair Apparent

Facial hair can sometimes serve as a good indicator of what type of crowd a nightclub attracts. Young, terminally hip dudes tend to go for goatees and Vandykes, although their popularity of late has made them a must for the pop cultured masses. Those worldly types sporting a full beard are likely to sit in Anglophile bars ordering ale. Sideburns send a variety of signals: trendy Top 40 listeners grow those neat Luke Perry burns, whereas a more hardcore alternative music clubber will let them grow into unruly choppers.

With mustaches you usually have a style-conscious stud who enjoys bouncy contemporary tunes and bouncy ladies who sip white Zinfandel. The Red Onion in Santa Ana is a magnet for both. It takes more than two hands and two feet to count the number of mustachioed men that frequent the place Thursday through Saturday nights, when the club is 21 and over.

Thursday nights attract a mostly after-work crowd that appears to be lookin’ for love, or just some meaningful lust. These yuppie singles (the doorman says the average age range is between 25 and 35) remove their confining suit jackets and loosen their ties to kick off their weekends. On Fridays and Saturdays they arrive later, around 10:30ish, dressed much more stylishly.

The music they boogie to first aired on what was once considered the Southland’s alternative music station: KROQ. The Red Onion even designates Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings “KROQ nights.”

The deejay plugs a steady nostalgic diet of early ‘80s “flashbacks” (as the station likes to call them): Smiths, PIL, Erasure and Depeche Mode. Just when the place begins to recall an oldies haunt for those in high school during the last decade, it thrusts briefly back into present day with hits from Arrested Development and Naughty by Nature.

Then there are those gems from Rick James (“Super Freak”), Vanity (“Nasty Girl”) and Sir Mix-a-Lot (“Baby Got Back”) that appear to hold some mystical power that compels women who probably hold boring desk jobs during the day to climb on top of bar tables and act out their fantasies as video vixens.

On the subject of MTV starlets, or those just pretending for the night, the award for best costume goes to the two waitresses who’ve cut their Levis into thong bikini-style bottoms. I guess they have to do something to sell those $1 watermelon shooters. Fortunately their co-workers spare us from that bad attack of gauche by sporting simple black cycling shorts and Red Onion tees.

Thursday nights are the ticket for drink specials: $1 you-call-it, $2 bottled beer and premium well drinks, and $5 bottled quarts of Bud; there are no drink specials during the weekend evenings so hit the ATM first. Those going directly after work on Thursdays and Fridays can snack during Happy Hour from 4 to 8 p.m. and skip the $5 cover charge.

The dance floor, not as large as at other Red Onion locations, becomes crowded even before the club fills up around 10:30 p.m.--these patrons came to move, groove and have a good time under the colored lights and a thick cloud of dry ice.

Those striking out on the floor can head over to the blackjack table and try their luck. Five bucks buys you a stack of chips, but don’t expect a return; it’s sort of an adult arcade game, a practice rehearsal for that weekend getaway to Vegas.

This Red Onion club is undoubtedly a singles market, so be ready to get hit on if you didn’t come to prowl.

* KROQ nights at the Red Onion, 101 E. Sandpointe Ave., Santa Ana. (714) 556-7701. Thursday, Friday and Saturday, 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. $5 cover.

MORE DANCE CLUBS:

Playground, 1084 N. State College Blvd., Anaheim. (714) 563-6112. 18 and over with ID. Open Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. Cover: Friday $8, minors (ages 18 to 20) pay $10; Saturday $10, minors $12; Sunday $5, minors $10. Even though it sits in a suburban shopping center, this place recalls the kind of underground clubs commonly found in the Big Apple or on the Continent. It’s simply decorated and exists for the sole purpose of dancing, evidenced by the 5,000-square-foot dance floor and an impressive light system. DJs play a mix of hip-hop, house and ‘70s disco.

Unity at the Red Onion, 450 N. State College Blvd., Orange. (714) 939-8590. Thursday only, 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. Cover $6 for ages 21 and over, $8 for ages 18 to 20. The club’s name reflects a combination of musical styles booming from two dance rooms: techno and tribal in one; house, old and new disco, and alternative in the other. Disc jockeys make smooth mixes and seamless song changes that keep the beat pumping nonstop. The club also draws an enviable cultural mix, and dance floors are generally overflowing in energy and numbers. There’s a dress code and a silly VIP-card policy that is cost-prohibitive for all but the promoter’s friends (who get the cards free).

Disco 2000 at Club 5902, 5902 Warner Ave., Huntington Beach. Thursday only, 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. (714) 840-6118. For those who want to celebrate the tongue-in-chic rebirth of discomania, this is the place. Disc jockeys thump out a pure 6/8 beat from their K-Tel collection that is disco at its purest. Where else can you hear an extended mix of “The Hustle”? Domestic drafts, wine and well drinks are $1 all night, and there is no cover before $10:30 p.m. (it’s $5 thereafter).

Planet Earth at the Waterfront Hilton, 21100 Pacific Coast Highway, Huntington Beach. Wednesday only, 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. (714) 960-7873. A prime example of how the term underground has been diluted to a point that it only refers to a music format that juggles techno, house, ‘70s disco and hip-hop--hardly the cult genres they used to be. Still, Planet Earth is a good place to boogie (they even have a public go-go box) without paying a cover charge. Just ignore the ugly-fluorescent-orange-Styrofoam-and-black-spray-paint-swirls wall decor.

Metropolis, 4255 Campus Drive (in the Marketplace), Irvine. Open Sunday through Thursday 11 a.m. to 2 a.m., Friday and Saturday till 3 a.m. (714) 725-0300. Our hipper-than-thou neighbors in La La Land can start taking note. This dance club-billiards hall-sushi bar and California cuisine restaurant combines regular nightclub fare with trendy recreation. And from the minimalist light fixtures to the leopard-trimmed billiard tables, it’s all a pleasure to look at. Dress to impress; there’s no cover charge, but pool tables cost up to $15 an hour. The music menu serves jazz and Big Band during the day, alternative rock in the evening. The club gets minus points for using computerized programming instead of deejays.

Romper Room at Magnolia’s Peach, 600 Brea Mall Drive, Brea. Friday only, 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. Cover: $5. (714) 990-4494. First off, this is no underground club. Though it does play some of the music associated with underground--techno and ‘70s disco, for instance--for most of the evening, the disc jockeys spin the Power 106 playlist. And the decor is about as inventive as you’d find in any family restaurant. But it does offer a place for those ages 18 and up to party, and it doesn’t charge them an arm and a leg to get through the door: the $5 cover applies to everybody.