Hotfoot It Lickety-Split for Lost Word

Wondering what to call that doohickey?

Want to woo your sweet bubaloo?

Dream of telling off your bananahead boss whose opinion isn’t worth diddly-squat?

You can find all the right terms with the “Word Menu,” a compendium of serious, and sometimes offbeat, grammatical fare that’s worth its 3-pound weight in whoop-de-do.

Slang, techno-jargon, or time-honored phrase: If it’s been uttered or scrawled, you’re likely to find it in this 977-page reference guide--a dictionary, thesaurus, almanac and glossary rolled into one.

It was a labor of love compiled over seven years by Stephen Glazier. He died at age 42 last January, shortly after its completion.

“He relished the effect of words,” said associate publisher John L. Hornor III of Random House. “Stephen had a real twinkle-in-the-eye sense of humor: insults, grunts, all the words for drunk. He just loved those things.”

More than 100 people--consultants, editors, lexicographers--contributed, fact-checked and polished.

Unlike other word books, “Word Menu” groups words, their definitions, and their synonyms into “natural subject categories.”

For instance, scan “Anatomy--Head and Neck” to find the name for the groove between your lip and nose. It’s a philtrum. Alphabetically, it comes right before (and anatomically, right below) schnozz .

Categories run the gamut: professional and scientific terms; abbreviations and art; “Grunts, Calls and Sounds” and “Comic Sound Effects” (from “aaargh” to “zzzzz”).

The book dutifully records obscenities, and even lists “Insults, Slurs and Epithets”--most with a caveat.

“You can be colorful and much more precise in what you’re calling a person,” advises Hornor. “Addlebrain, airhead, bimbo, birdbrain or (politics aside) Bozo.”

Users can wow their Scrabble chums with timbromania --defined under “Phobias” as “inordinate enthusiasm for postage stamps.”

Can you define these without peeking?

* Piggy spot .

(It’s neither a swine nightclub nor an all-you-can-eat buffet, but advertising parlance for a painkiller commercial.)

* Parricide isn’t a long-staying houseguest--unless, perhaps, that guest is related. (It’s defined as “killing a member of one’s family.”)

* Bradykinin does not refer to Greg or Marcia from the TV clan of yore. (But then again, this amino acid compound IS thought to stimulate pain receptors.)

Almost anybody can use the “Word Menu”: students, copywriters and letter-writers; librarians, teachers and crossword puzzlers.

Besides insulting inventively (ferret face!) readers can entertain discerning 10-year-olds with precise spellings for imprecise terms (Yahoo! Yech! Yikes!)

Or they can try this out at a cocktail party:

* Jerkinhead is a roof (not a synonymn for nincompoop.)

Need more? Amble (or scamper or hotfoot it, lickety-split) to a bookstore. Bring $22 (or $57 for the software.)

And never again will you suffer from onomatophobia .

(Look it up!)