PERSONAL HEALTH : A Little Warning Called Jealousy

In our culture, “jealousy marks you as some sort of emotional nerd,” says Gordon Clanton, who teaches sociology at San Diego State University and who wrote the classic textbook on the topic.

He views jealousy as “a warning system, with social usefulness. It lets people know that relationships they value are threatened or perceived to be threatened.”

In a recent talk to members of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex, he cited other misconceptions about jealousy:

* Jealousy is not instinctive. “Most adult jealousy is learned.”

* Jealousy does not necessarily stem from low self-esteem. “Most results from an imbalance of power in a relationship.”

* Women are not necessarily more jealous than men. “But women are probably more likely to admit it.”

* Adult jealousy is not linked to a difficult childhood. “There’s no strong association with childhood conflict.”

Jealousy is a clue, Clanton contends: “It ought to be acknowledged.”

“My general advice about jealousy? Examine yourself. Ask: Is my response appropriate? Am I expressing jealous feelings constructively? Talk to your partner. Jealousy usually results from an interaction, not an isolated experience.”