If Seifert Got His Wish, He Is a Real Heavy Now

When asked what he wanted for Christmas, San Francisco 49er Coach George Seifert’s answer had all the impact, of, well, a lead weight.

“My family asks me this all the time,” Seifert told John Crumpacker of the San Francisco Examiner. “Every year I tell them the same thing--lead balls. That’s the truth. Lead balls, you know? Fishing weights? I might go through 55 lead balls each year.”

The Examiner headline was appropriate: “Deck the Halls with Lead Balls.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NBA record for highest free-throw percentage in a career?

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Perspective: Mike Littwin of the Baltimore Sun, after the Orioles’ Sam Horn hit a triple last May, his first in 879 at-bats:

“In case you don’t grasp the significance of this epochal event--allow me some perspective. Beethoven wrote nine symphonies. Horn has hit one triple. Nolan Ryan has pitched seven no-hitters. Horn has one triple.

“There have been three ‘Godfather’ movies, two World Wars and one Sam Horn triple.”

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Get serious: From the Associated Press: “Eric Peplowski (of Michigan State) unveiled a new weapon Wednesday night--a beautiful hook shot that might make Kareem Abdul-Jabbar a little jealous.”

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Makes sense: Some philosophy from Boston Celtic veteran Kevin McHale: “I don’t think basketball is the answer to all problems. If a guy comes into the league with a ton of problems, and they pay him a million dollars, then’s he’s a millionaire with a ton of problems.”

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Direct approach: Green Bay Packer free safety Chuck Cecil, on what he likes most about the game: “It’s not for the interceptions, not for the kudos after the game, pats on the back,” he told the Milwaukee Journal. “It’s just a great challenge to go out and knock the living daylights out of someone.”

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Patriot bashing: Michael Madden of the Boston Globe takes a harsh look at the New England Patriots, who finished the season with a 2-14 record:

“Vanilla game plans, lack of concentration, unprepared week after week, no discipline, no creativity, no focus, no emotion--none of the basics of football.”

Is that all?

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Easy to find: Boxer Vinny Pazienza, returning to the ring for the first time since he suffered a broken neck in an auto accident in 1991:

“I ain’t taking any more MRIs. There’s already enough radiation in me to light up Chernobyl.”

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Tune up: CBS sportscaster James Brown, on the Winter Olympics: “Until recently, I thought luge was something that happened to your car after 15,000 miles.”

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Altitude problem: Boston Celtic center Robert Parish, after a recent loss to the Utah Jazz in Salt Lake City: “It was almost like we weren’t getting enough oxygen to our brains.”

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Trivia answer: Rick Barry, .900.

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Quotebook: Utah’s Karl Malone, who fell one assist short of what would have been his first triple-double in a game against Philadelphia on Wednesday night: “If I would have known it, I would have passed the ball.”