Ditka Is Many Things, but Not a Buddy

Since his firing by the Chicago Bears on Tuesday, some treasured Mike Ditka stories have been making the rounds.

A favorite of many concerns a confrontation he had with Buddy Ryan, his defensive coordinator at the time, during a 1985 game against the Miami Dolphins in the Orange Bowl.

Ryan kept assigning linebacker Wilber Marshall to cover the Dolphins’ Nat Moore, who kept beating Marshall. Politely at first, Ditka asked Ryan to assign someone else to cover Moore.

Ryan ignored him.

Ditka finally asked him again, this way, in front of the whole team: “Buddy, we can do it any way you want. We can go right out back and get it on right now!”

The Washington Post’s Michael Wilbon lamented Ditka’s departure this way:

“The NFL once had characters, all the Artie Donovans and Dick the Bruisers you could muster. But they’re virtually extinct now.

“Ditka was the tyrannosaurus rex, smoking his cigar, wearing his wide-brimmed hats and pin-striped suits, cussing and threatening, winking and charming.

“Who’s left now? Who’s worth watching on the sideline on the off chance that he’ll kill somebody during a game? Contrived Jerry Glanville? Wacky Sam Wyche? Well, they’re better than nothing. But they’re not Ditka, not by a long shot.”

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Trivia time: Who was the worse free-throw shooter, Bill Russell or Wilt Chamberlain?

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The set-up: Retired NFL referee Jim Tunney tells of walking onto the Rose Bowl field for the 1977 Super Bowl game. First to greet him was the Raiders’ coach, John Madden.

Said Madden: “Jim, glad to have you here. I want you to know we think you’re the second-best official in the league.”

Tunney said he thanked him, then walked away. But later, shortly before kickoff and wondering who was No. 1, he asked Madden.

“It’s a tie--among the other 89,” Madden answered.

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In case you wondered: Next year’s Baseball Hall of Fame candidates are Steve Carlton, Don Sutton, Bruce Sutter, Ted Simmons, Graig Nettles and Ron Guidry.

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Add Hall: Reggie Jackson, voted into the Hall of Fame Tuesday, was in the first year of a five-year, $2.9-million contract when he had his three-homer World Series game in 1977.

In comparison: Barry Bonds recently signed for $43.75 million for six years.

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Acid ink: Writing in the Sporting News, Michael Knisley had this to say about the Houston Oilers blowing a 35-3 third-quarter lead at Buffalo:

“That performance sets a new standard for choking, which is a scar that will not heal until the Oilers prove they can win in the postseason--especially in light of their come-from-ahead, 26-24 loss to Denver in the playoffs a year ago.”

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More Most: Johnny Most, the fabled, biased Boston Celtic radio announcer who died last Sunday, could not stand Jeff Ruland of the Washington Bullets.

One night the Boston Celtics were at the Capital Centre to play Washington. As the game was about to start and with impressive solemnity, Most told his vast listening audience in New England:

“Mrs. Ruland, if you’re listening somewhere in Connecticut, I advise you to turn your radio off--you’re not going to like what I say about your boy Jeff.”

Then, barely pausing for breath, he continued: “The ball goes up . . . Boston controls the tip . . . and we’re under way!”

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Trivia answer: Chamberlain. Of 11,862 attempts, he made 6,057 (51%). Russell made 3,148 of 5,614 (56%).

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Quotebook: Former pitcher Joe Nuxhall, at a roast for Pete Rose: “Here’s how smart Pete is. When they had that big power blackout in New York, Pete was stranded for 13 hours on an escalator.”