MAD AS HELL

Mad as Hell is an occasional feature in which readers may express their views on issues related to the arts and entertainment. Let the phrase uttered by Howard Beale (as portrayed by Peter Finch, left, in the movie “Network”) be your guide: “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” This ‘Lieutenant’ Is Truly Rank

I work in the Los Angeles film production community, and last year I spent more than $350 at the box office. Yes, I see a lot of films; most of the time I know what I’m getting into.

Recently I saw “Bad Lieutenant.” The day I attended the exclusive engagement, The Times ran a full-length ad hooraying its arrival with nonstop “Year’s 10 Bests” and other laurels.

I’m thinking, “OK, Harvey Keitel, he’s cool, this sounds good.” Here’s my $7. The line at the theater indicated that others had the same idea. About 105 minutes later, I was fuming. For the first time I felt I had been cheated out of my money at the box office--by the film critics, although truly they are film cheerleaders . They criticize nothing, love everything.

This was the first film I’ve ever been to where, at the end, a lone patron who applauded was swiftly booed by many others. I saw credits for writing, directing, story, acting, cinematography, editing, production design and music, but I know I didn’t see any evidence to support these claims. The only believable credit was for the caterer. They had to eat, I guess.

It’s hard to see the difference between the film critics with their banner headlines and one of those old TV commercials for shoe companies that told you that you could run faster and jump higher with their shoes on your feet. I came away from this film wondering when the definition of false advertising kicks in.

I’ve got a great idea! Why can’t Calendar start a weekly section for critic-bashing? I’ll start holding my breath.

JON SALZMAN

Los Angeles