They Would Really Give New Meaning to Term ‘Road Kill’

A friend recently suggested to Frank Luksa of the Dallas Morning News that the woeful Dallas Mavericks should change their name to the Possums.

Why the Possums?

“Cause they play dead at home and die on the road.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the record for most points scored in an NBA All-Star game?

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Champ, or chump?: Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe, on rookie Shaquille O’Neal of the Orlando Magic: “The whole question with O’Neal is, given he has all the money he ever could have dreamed of already, does he really want to be a champion, get a ring on his finger, go down in history? Or does he just want to earn money and have a good time?

“He has it within his grasp. He now must push himself to understand there is more to master and find out if he has the scientific curiosity to find out how good he can be. Other superstars like Bird, Magic, Kareem, and Walton had that curiosity.”

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Fare enough: Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post, on Michael Dokes, who lasted only 2:19 before being knocked out by Riddick Bowe: “He was so far past his prime, he had to take a cab back.”

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Better luck this time: Veteran defenseman Brad Marsh of the Ottawa Senators, who had a goal and an assist in his first All-Star game appearance this month, was also selected in 1985 but got caught in a snowstorm and never made it to the game at Calgary.

He watched it on television at an airport bar in Toronto.

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Dear Earvin: According to a survey conducted by Michael Levine, author of “The Address Book: How to Reach Anyone Who Is Anyone,” Magic Johnson received 480,000 pieces of mail last year, more than any other celebrity in the United States.

Runner-up: Princess Diana.

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Emery, Express: Phil Niekro, the first major leaguer to pitch more than 138 innings in a season after his 46th birthday, told the Dallas Morning News that he had an advantage over Nolan Ryan, who this season will try to become the second.

“All I had to do was sit in a whirlpool, work on my nails and take care of one or two muscles,” said Niekro, a knuckleballer who pitched 220 innings and won 16 games for the New York Yankees during the 1985 season. “Nolan has to work his whole body around the clock. That’s tough.”

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Dept. of bad timing: During their NHL record-tying 17-game losing streak, the San Jose Sharks announced that ticket prices will increase by about 30% next season when they move from the Cow Palace into a new $155-million arena in San Jose.

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Trivia answer: Wilt Chamberlain, who scored 42 points in the 1962 game at St. Louis.

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Quotebook: Peter Vescey of USA Today, speculating on how long Robert Parish, 39, of the Boston Celtics might keep playing: “As long as his joints hold up.”