Dum Dum Da Dum . . . : Some Couples Vow <i> Not </i> to Have Just Another Humdrum, Wallet-Draining Wedding With Lotsof Really Bad Gifts

There are few new spins on time-honored marriage customs in the ‘90s. Some are designed to keep the cost of the affair from consuming one’s life savings. Others merely reflect the times in which we live.

Among them:

* Mixing fresh flowers with relatively inexpensive seasonal greens to create a less costly garden setting. Ordering flowers that are in season to avoid paying premiums.

* Offering guests “dinner by the bite”--assortments of hors d’oeuvres or sit-down mini-courses--instead of elaborate multiple-course meals.

* Tying the knot at unconventional times, such as weekday nights or even afternoons. One couple married, lunched with friends, then promptly returned to the office.

* Registering for gifts at such eclectic places as hardware stores and antique shops.

* Requesting non-traditional items at the most traditional bridal registry destinations. China and silver designed by artists like architect Richard Meier, jewelry designer Robert Lee Morris and fashion designer Geoffrey Beene are popular choices at Geary’s and Bullock’s.

* Registering for politically correct booty. At the ecological department store Terra Verde in Santa Monica, couples frequently register for damask linens made from organically grown, unbleached, undyed, non-chemical-treated fabric. Organic wool and cotton bed pillows, toiletries, decorative hooks and even chandeliers also make the list.

* Offering guests the chance to help pay for the honeymoon. Neiman Marcus Travel Service, among others, handles such arrangements. It sends the bride and groom a gift card indicating the travel purchase.

* Accepting American Express “Be Our Guest” coupons for dinner out. They come in increments of $25.

* Registering for the latest designs in crystal stemware, with short--about an inch tall--stems.

* Fashioning the wedding around a theme that reflects a couple’s shared interests or first meeting.

* Having a Renaissance-style ceremony, mountaintop nuptials or whimsical weddings at Disneyland, Disney World and Universal Studios.

* Moving to the East Coast, where Westbury, N.Y.-based Arbor National Mortgage Inc. offers a bridal registry to help first-time home buyers. Couples receive announcement cards to send to friends and relatives, inviting them to make donation toward their dream house.

Gauche but effective.