But are they all wet?A couple from...

But are they all wet?A couple from Hillsboro, Ore., who fled California are marketing a Northwest Quest newsletter and consulting service for others wishing to escape. Cost: $189 for the package. It’s reassuring to know that leaving the rat race for a slow-paced existence doesn’t necessarily vanquish the profit motive.

The couple, Mark and Becky Holland, offer several valuable tips, including examples of the “unique . . . language of the Northwest.” The regional vocabulary can be baffling for newcomers. After all, we understand that natives of the Northwest have more than 850 words for rain .

Just try to get away from L.A.--just try: Even if you go overseas for a change of scenery, L.A. is apt to rear its angelic head. Foreign-based enclaves include:

* L.A. Square: This tribute in the sister city of Nagoya, Japan, has a Walk of Fame honoring Hollywood celebrities.

* L.A. Bar and Grill: Located at France’s EuroDisney, it’s nestled in a mall that’s covered by rows of lighted bulbs--sort of like a star’s giant dressing room.

* L.A. Platz: A park located in Berlin, another sister city, it has an authentic L.A. twist--it’s atop a parking structure.

You can fool some of the eggs some of the time . . . Lynn Collings sent along a restaurant flyer advertising a dish that sounds vaguely familiar in California’s L.A.

Just the show for the comedy channel: The Board of Supervisors said Wednesday it may broadcast its meetings on cable television. It strikes us as bad timing, inasmuch as ex-supes’ personality Pete Schabarum has retired.

One can only lament that exchanges featuring our Pete, such as this 1989 golden oldie, will never grace a TV screen.

Schabarum, angry after colleague Deane Dana switched his position on an issue, growled at him: “Some guy calls you up this morning and says, ‘Holy cow, dabba dabba dabba do . . . “

To which Dana had this nifty response: “Some people call up you and dabba dabba do.”

Second-story comic?Rick Sandack saw a man on Sunset Boulevard with a sign that said: “Keys to the Stars’ Homes.”

miscelLAny:

Officials of the Great Snail Festival have set May 15 and 16 for the annual gastropod races at the Puente Hills Mall. Youngsters coach the snails, which sprint up 13-inch wooden rods. Winning coach last year was Jill Gonzales of El Monte, whose snail turned in a time of 1 minute, 58 seconds.