PERFORMANCES / AN OPINIONATED GUIDE

This is the rock ‘n’ roll lineup for the week. Look elsewhere for country, jazz, and who cares about Top 40 brain death cover bands, anyway? The vast majority of these bands do original music or else they’re lying to me.

TONIGHT * Incubus, Ethereal Spin, Cactus Jack, Guilty Party (Cheers, 1308 E. Los Angeles Ave., Simi Valley, 581-2488) After “The Simpsons,” it’s four bands when one would probably suffice. * Lizards Of Wisdom (The Red Onion, 130 W. Hillcrest Drive, Thousand Oaks, 371-8087) Disco so loud it blows the hubcaps off your BMW in the parking lot by too many obnoxious DJs, video screens and now, live original music. One out of three ain’t bad. * Art Carnage (Whale’s Tail, 3950 Bluefin Circle, Oxnard, 985-2511) Lots of covers, but a tape of originals is on the way. Tonight blues dude Jackie Lomax sits in. (Also Tuesday and Wednesday) * Firehouse, Tuff (Ventura Theatre, 26 Chestnut St., Ventura, 648-1888) Two by-the-numbers corporate rock bands with hair by W. Woodpecker. * Killer Green (Toes Tavern, 416 State St., Santa Barbara, 965-4655) Nope, not what the narcs want to throw you in jail for, but merely the rockin’ soundtrack for all that free pizza. * Hollander (Calypso, 514 State St., Santa Barbara, 966-1388) Ventura corporate rock band on a road trip. * Fin, Greg & Dave (Alex’s Cantina, 633 State St., Santa Barbara, 966-0032) Three-guy pop rock with so many years in this place it should be Fin, Greg & Dave’s Cantina. (Also Monday at Calypso) * Twangin’ Iguanas (Art’s Bar, 2611 De La Vina St., Santa Barbara, 569-0052) Rockabilly, bluegrass, country and like that. * Coral (Buster’s, 6396 Hollister Ave., Goleta, 968-2565) Their Heads fell off from the band that used to be the Coral Heads, but it’s still sort of classic rock from the beach at the all-ages place that serves booze.

FRIDAY * Buster Mayhem (Cheers) Radical rock out of Camarillo--not a lot of dancers, but a lot of licks. (Also Saturday) * Rust (Garfields Bar & Grill, 2789 E. Main St., Ventura, 648-1917) East End Ventura band that broke up for a week or so returns to its favorite venue for some Neil Young-flavored rock ‘n roll. * Cyrus Clarke (Nicolby’s Coffeehouse, 404 E. Main St., Ventura, 653-6488) The world may or may not need another antique shop (which this is), but nothing wrong with a venue for acoustic music. * Spencer the Gardener, Ariel (Metro Bay Club, 317 E. Main St., Ventura, 652-0100) “Spy movie music at the beach” is what Spencer calls it. “Paying the rent” is what the club owners call it once they see the crowds this S. B. band attracts. * Rick Reeves & the Future Blues Band (The Big Yellow House, 108 Pierpont St., Summerland, 969-4140) A lot of covers and a few originals at the aptly named Victorian mansion. (Also Saturday and Monday at Alex’s Cantina) * Wicked Willie & the Fishtail (The Mesa Cafe, 1972 Cliff Drive, Santa Barbara, 965-5303) Bluesy rock comes to the strip mall on the Mesa. * Tao Jonz (Brewhouse, 202 State St., Santa Barbara, 963-3090) Basically indescribable (but very cool) dance band plays at the place that brews the mean beer. * Brad Is Sex, Soul Force (Toes Tavern) Brad is also Nack, who used to be in the Tan with Spencer Barnitz, then later Nothing and now this. “Bad Party” is this pop-rock band’s biggie. * Lion I’s (Beach Shack, 500 Anacapa St., Santa Barbara, 966-1634) This Ventura-based rockin’ reggae band packs this place for a memorable S. B. dance-a-thon. * Munkafust (Alex’s Cantina) A phenomenal following of females makes these funk rockers formidable. * Little Jonny & the Giants (Art’s Bar) Talented and tight rockin’ blues band struts it tonight. * Michael On Fire (Creek Side Inn, 4444 Hollister Ave., Santa Barbara, 964-5118) Rock, folk, blues and a little of everything else by the guy with 1200 original songs. See Up The Coast * Penny Dreadful (Buster’s) Hard and fast are generally the operative words at this venue. * Skankin’ Pickle (The Anaconda Theater, 935 Embarcadero del Norte, Isla Vista, 685-3112) It’s a ska dance party tonight.

SATURDAY * Urban Dread (Garfields) Rockin’ rockin’ rockin’ rockin’ reggae dance band out of the Valley. * David Benoit, Kenny Rankin (Ventura Theatre) The renowned jazz pianist will doubtless do tunes off his new one, “Letter To Evan.” * Loaded Zilla, Fear No Evil (Bermuda Triangle, 477 E. Main St., Ventura, 653-0466) An Australian rock band headlines this one, mate. * The Electricats (The Mesa Cafe) The Acousticats meet the Edison Company. * Wind Cave (Brewhouse) Sounds like Deadhead stuff to me. * Raging Arb & the Redheads, Spencer the Gardener (Beach Shack) Ventura blues and booze rockers finally get their chance to play the most popular (and best paying) venue in S. B. thanks to Spencer the Arb Fan who put them on the bill. * The Tearaways (Calypso, 514 State St., Santa Barbara, 966-1388) It’s the CD release party for “See The Sound,” the new one by this pop rock band with the Beatlesque happening harmonies. * Los Guys (Alex’s Cantina) Hilarious songs by Jeremy, scorching guitars by Harold. These Guys are great. * Buddy Smith Band (Art’s Bar) This veteran blues guitarist once opened for Jimi Hendrix in Oxnard in the ‘60s. (Also Monday at the Holiday Inn in Ventura) * Strait Jacket Jesus (Buster’s) Thrashy grunge metal tonight.

SUNDAY * From the Heart, On the Edge (Cheers) There’s two more bands whose names were available at press time. That’s OK, no one but their moms know who they are, anyway. * King Arthur (Bombay) It’s the Sunday reggae show. * The Shival Experience (Toes Tavern) It’s the Sunday reggae show up the road. * Nuisance, Supertouch (The Anaconda Theater) Nothing remotely approaches mellow tonight.

MONDAY * Ku-De-Tah, Contradiction, Red Fish (Cheers) Rap meets rock in a very angry collision amongst the headliners. See Night Life * Acoustic Jam (Bermuda Triangle) You show up, you play. You don’t, you don’t have to listen to the other guys.

TUESDAY * The Wedding Band (Beach Shack) An all-star band plays covers that were hits when the dancer’s parents were dancers in heat.

WEDNESDAY * One Love Vibration (Cheers) Ras David and the boys do the rootsy reggae thing, mon. * Soul Asylum, Meat Puppets (Ventura Theatre) More fun than Peter Gabriel who didn’t even know any Raging Arb songs, these two very happening alternative rock bands will sell out this joint tonight. * Damaged Ego, Power Tool Injury (Bermuda Triangle) With that show across the street, it’ll probably be like a Ghost Town here tonight for these new bands. * In Mother’s Garden, Billy Goat (Alex’s Cantina) It’s the same all over--new bands get the tough night of the week. * Tool, Failure (The Anaconda Theater) The headliners are about as serious as a rake in the rib cage and about as much fun too.

Yup, it’s only rock ‘ n roll and, thus, these listings are subject to change for no apparent reason. Mom was right--call first.