‘There Is No Doubt That I Will Die Soon’

Excerpts from “A Rock and a Hard Place” by Anthony Godby Johnson, published this month by Crown Books ($20):

“I like Whoopi Goldberg--especially when she plays a singing nun--and get hysterical at Bart Simpson and his attitude. I can cook pretty well, and I play a decent poker game. My favorite color is purple, and I love cats. I’m a lousy video game player but I can sing old songs. I’ve played Felix Unger and Nathan Detroit in school plays. I know Spanish curse words and enjoy showing them off. Sometimes I’m afraid of the dark.”

“There is no doubt that I will die soon. I know that well--my body is a constant reminder of that fact. I’ll have to forgo those plans for a career in major-league baseball. There will be no five-o’clock shadow sprouting on my face, my voice will never lower to that bass tone I have anticipated all of my life. I’ll never be able to abuse credit cards or balance my checkbook. Falling in love and making out with the girl of my dreams will have to remain a fantasy in my heart.”

“Every night, around midnight, I hear the grate go up as the saloon down the street opens. A short while after that, garbage trucks pass, making lots of noise. You have to be in a deep sleep not to hear them, and I almost always do. At around three in the morning the grate comes down again, and it signals to me that the night is just about over, I feel as though I have tempted fate and made it through another day. No matter how horribly things are going or how sick I feel, the rickety sound of that grate tells me that I am still alive. Again.”