NEIGHBORS / SHORT TAKES : Postmaster Is Girding for Flurry of Tax Filings

Feeling a tad overtaxed today?

More than likely, so is Oak View’s new postmaster, David Bonham. Bonham has been with the Oak View post office for just three weeks, but he knows enough to expect a big tax form flurry today. Bonham’s prior experience in Missouri and Oklahoma City has taught him that all of tax week can be pretty wild.

“It’s like a hurricane,” he said. “All of a sudden you get an avalanche in a short period of time.”

Much of the rush, apparently, can be attributed to plain old human nature. “People wait to the last minute. They procrastinate,” Bonham said. “If they have to pay, they don’t want to take funds out of their savings account until the last minute. It’s a ritual with them, mailing on the very last day.”

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From Tax to Taxidermy: We stopped in at a Kinko’s copy center in San Bernardino a couple of weekends ago, and during our visit browsed through a sampler book of business cards.

One of the cards was purportedly for a Thousand Oaks taxidermy operation called “It’s Alive!” We decided on the spot that it was a hands-down winner for our “Name of the Week” Award. So after we got back home, we called the phone number on the card to congratulate the proprietor. No answer. We called several times more. Still no luck.

Needless to say, we were starting to doubt the validity of the business card. We called the Conejo Valley Chamber of Commerce and asked if there was a taxidermy business called “It’s Alive,” in Thousand Oaks. The response: “Ewwwwwwwwwwww.”

So we checked with the city of Thousand Oaks business license office. “Nothing under that name,” we were told. There was only one thing left to do. Call Kinko’s. “Does this business really exist?” we asked. “I don’t think so,” said the manager. “They have to be kept fictional.”

Now all we hope is that a real taxidermist doesn’t catch us with our tail between our legs.

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In light of our taxidermic foul-up, we must reassign the Name-of-the-Week Award. It now goes to the Hueneme Child Care Council and Village Park Child and Family Resources. The organizations are sponsoring a workshop on parenting and discipline Wednesday evening at the Hueneme Cultural Center.

The program title: “Help! My Kids Have Run Me Over and I Can’t Get Up!”

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More good names in the news: Did you know that Ventura Fire Department trucks carry BUFFYs? No, we’re not talking about bare firefighters. We’re talking about firefighter bears.

BUFFYs (or Bears Understand Friends, Feelings and You) are teddy bears given to the Fire Department by the Assistance League of Ventura County. The firefighters keep the bears in their trucks and use them in emergency situations for comforting children.

The Assistance League delivered about 30 of the bears to the Ventura Avenue Fire Station several weeks ago, bringing the total to about 500 citywide.

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Dr. Irving Loh, a cardiac specialist at Los Robles Regional Medical Center in Thousand Oaks, spent the early part of last week in Washington, D.C., helping review a portion of the proposed national health care reform plan. Loh serves on the budget and finance subcommittee.

So what did he think of the proposals? Unfortunately, Loh said he was asked to keep mum about the details. But, he said, “It’s going to be better than people think.”