‘Hay Fever’ Fund-Raiser Nothing to Sneeze at

About 75 people caught “Hay Fever,” Noel Coward’s comedy at the South Coast Repertory Theater, when the Visiting Nurse Assn. of Orange County Foundation staged “A Night at the Theater.”

The event last week was the first-ever fund-raiser for Necessary Steps, the VNAOC’s bereavement support group for children who have lost a parent, grandparent, sibling or other loved one.

Guests paid $50 each to attend the play and a reception at the Center Club in Costa Mesa, raising about $9,000 for the support group.

Light Fare

Helping grieving children is a somber matter, so event organizers decided that the evening’s entertainment should be on the lighter side.

“We deliberately chose a comedy,” said Wendy Weber, co-chairwoman of the theater night with Wendy Mason. “We want people to have fun tonight.”

Guests first arrived at the Center Club, where they sampled a buffet of pasta, fresh fruit, gourmet cheeses and other treats. They listened to Celtic folk music performed by Dulcimania, whose members include Karen Harvey, a part-time nurse with the VNA.

After a presentation about Necessary Steps, they headed out en masse to the nearby theater.

First Steps

While the evening was full of laughs, nobody forgot the children, whose sad drawings of families with missing parents were on view at the club.

Necessary Steps began in 1989 after a father contacted the VNA asking for help in telling his children their mother had died. The mother was a 32-year-old VNA Hospice patient.

“He didn’t think he could face his kids when they came home from school so he asked for a nurse,” said Colleen Dinunzio, director of VNA Hospice that administers the bereavement program. “We realized we needed a support group.”

The program provides eight-week counseling sessions for children and separate sessions for their parents and adults. A $10 donation is asked, but not required, for each meeting. So far the program has helped 159 children and 36 parents.

Michael Hass, program director, says the first step in helping grieving children is to acknowledge the loss.

“A lot of times parents are puzzled. The kids will not react. They put their mourning on hold because it may not seem safe to express their feelings if everything’s in an upheaval,” he said. “Children may wait six months or a year until things look stable, then act out.

“We make it clear why everyone’s there. We bring it out in the open. We tell them, ‘Everyone’s here because somebody close to them died.’ ” The children quickly learn that they’re not alone, he said.

Others attending were Gordon Martin, president and chief executive officer of the VNA Group, the VNAOC’s parent organization; David Ross, VNA Group board chairman; Larry Smith, board member; Phyllis Gallagher, chairwoman of the VNAOC board; Joan Randall, executive vice president of the VNAOC; Leah Hunt, Laura Johnson, Eugene and Ruth Ann Moriarty, Maxine Cook and Wayne Miller.