When Fingers Do the Walking, No Telling Who You Will Reach

Before the Phoenix Suns eliminated the Seattle SuperSonics last Saturday to set up an NBA championship series with the Chicago Bulls, Charles Barkley said he got a phone call in the middle of the night from Madonna.

Later, Barkley told the Arizona Republic: “Nothing is going on between me and her.”

The paper’s comment: “Guess that means she dialed a wrong number.”

Trivia time: Phoenix last played in the championship series in 1976, losing to the Boston Celtics, four games to two. What was unusual about that series?

Are you kidding? New York Met owner Nelson Doubleday, on his impressions of Manager Dallas Green:

“I was at a cocktail party some years ago. Sophia Loren was there. We were publishing her first book. When she looks at you, you know you’ve been looked at. The same with Dallas.”

Sorry, Nelson, they’re in different leagues.

High anxiety: John Kruk of the Philadelphia Phillies had this to say after playing in the thin air of Denver and receiving oxygen:

“I don’t think I’d like to play here. I’d die. It’s a nice city, but what the hell would I see of it if I was dead?”

Take a breather.

Comma career: From Jan Hubbard of Newsday: “After the (Philadelphia) 76ers bought out the final year of Armon Gilliam’s contract, Gilliam was philosophical, saying the setback ‘is just a comma, not a period.’

“Said one general manager: ‘Let’s see. In his pro career, Armon has been at Phoenix, comma, Charlotte, comma, Philadelphia, comma, and while you’re at it, you might as well throw in Nevada Las Vegas, comma.’ ”

Another UNLV shot: From Tom Weir of USA Today: “Every story so far about Michael Jordan’s gambling has detailed mammoth losses. Didn’t he ever win?

“If Jordan’s gambling is so compulsive, it must have developed as an adult. Otherwise, wouldn’t he have attended college at casino-convenient Nevada Las Vegas?”

It says hair: A clean-shaven Tim Wallach--who grew a beard during the Dodgers’ 11-game winning streak--says there were times he wanted to shave it off.

“After about five games I was going to shave it off, but Tommy (Lasorda) told me to wait,” Wallach said. “He told me that he was talking to (Dodger President) Peter O’Malley, and Peter said he hoped it grew down to my knees.”

For the record: In identifying UCLA’s world record-holders in track and field, Morning Briefing inadvertently omitted the women--Jackie Joyner-Kersee in the heptathlon and Florence Griffith Joyner in the 100 and 200 meters.

Moreover, for the trivia-minded, former Bruin John Smith is the world record-holder at 440 yards, 44.5 seconds. That distance is no longer run, since the United States has adopted metric measurements in track.

Sleeper: From Columnist Ray Ratto of the San Francisco Examiner: “Does his new network job mean that Joe Gibbs is going to start sleeping at other teams’ offices three times a week?”

Trivia answer: The Celtics won the fifth game, 128-126, in three overtimes.

Quotebook: Martina Navratilova, on her prospects of winning at Wimbledon again: “I certainly don’t go there for the strawberries and cream, as nice as they are.”