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Drivers Distracted by Everything but the Kitchen Sink

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TIMES STAFF WRITER

American ingenuity may be the death of us all.

Let me explain why I say this: Last week I carried on about the outrageous things drivers have been seen doing while motoring down the freeway, including grooming pets, removing pantyhose and flossing.

But as one more factor to worry about, there is also a slew of nifty gadgets on the market for use while driving, to distract you from that 16-wheeler swerving into your lane. Here is a list provided by the state Office of Traffic Safety:

* refrigerator with beverage holder and coin tray;

* mini-oven that plugs into the car lighter;

* facsimile machine that fits on the dashboard and plugs into the car lighter;

* auto-exercise cassette tapes for steering wheel calisthenics;

* telephone directory that attaches to the visor;

* electronic message board to tell other drivers what’s on your mind;

* massaging car seat;

* loudspeaker to talk to cars cruising alongside yours,

* and a while-you-drive urinal.

The list doesn’t even mention those little television sets that operate off cigarette lighters or batteries.

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Now, what if a driver is changing pantyhose while getting a fax and baking a pie? Yikes!

Does anyone remember when cars were just used to drive from place to place and maybe for the occasional spot of romance?

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Dear Street Smart:

The San Fernando Valley is plagued with abandoned vehicles. And don’t tell me to call 1-800-ABANDON. These vehicles are an eyesore, a safety hazard, a drain on the neighborhood since they take up a parking space.

Can we get some pressure on the City Council, LAPD and Parking Enforcement to have a once-a-month “vehicle sweep”?

Opher Banarie, Reseda

Dear Reader:

Sure, I’ve cracked a few jokes about 800 numbers in the past, but this isn’t kidding: You should dial 1-800-ABANDON. That is the number to report abandoned vehicles in the city of Los Angeles. The city says it will check it out within two days of your call, a little longer if you call on weekends.

If you get no satisfaction from this, the LAPD will respond if the abandoned car becomes a hangout for drug dealers and other nefarious types.

By the way, the LAPD has made a couple of abandoned vehicle sweeps in the past two years. But an LAPD spokesman said they don’t plan on doing them regularly. Instead, they will wait until they get enough complaints before they spend money on another sweep.

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So, who ever said complaining will get you nowhere?

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Dear Street Smart:

Here is the problem: You are at an intersection waiting to make a left turn and the signal has a green, yellow and red left turn arrows. When the arrow turns red you have to wait there while the rest of the traffic going in the same direction as you are gets a regular green light.

What is the purpose of the red arrow when you could make a left turn once there is no oncoming traffic? But you have to sit there like a fool while there is a red arrow. Why can’t they do away with the red arrow and let you go when traffic clears up?

Gary Calame, Burbank

Dear Reader:

I know what you mean. It’s a waste of time. Kinda like waiting for the Rams to have a winning season.

Even Burbank traffic engineer Ron Morris agrees that these lights can be annoying--and he’s the guy in charge of planning intersections. He said the cities of Burbank and Los Angeles are trying to do away with these red arrows whenever possible so you can turn when traffic clears up.

But he added that sometimes the red arrow is there to keep you from running over pedestrians who are trying to cross the street you are turning onto.

So don’t despair, because it looks like those annoying red arrows are going out of fashion (like Rams season tickets).

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Dear Street Smart:

In an effort to be more positive, I want to comment about some of the benefits of our freeway system and challenge your readers to do the same.

I think that we can all be grateful that as of yet, there are no tollbooths. Being from the East Coast, I know what it is like to slow down and stop to put a quarter into a tollbooth every 20 to 25 miles. It’s an experience I don’t think a lot of L. A. commuters have had.

Robert Brice, North Hollywood

Dear Reader:

I have to disagree with you: L.A. commuters do know what it’s like to slow down and stop every few miles. It’s called rush-hour traffic.

As for tollbooths, Caltrans has no plans in the immediate future to install them in our neck of the woods. The closest we came to getting tollbooths was in 1990 when a Dallas corporation offered to install a toll road linking California 126 and the Simi Valley Freeway in Simi Valley. But Caltrans gave that idea the raspberry.

As far as I’m concerned, I already pay my taxes and that should be enough to pay for road repairs; anything more is, well, highway robbery.

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Dear Street Smart:

Hey, while we are griping about traffic, how about those bicyclists who ride down Valley Circle Drive from Chatsworth to Woodland Hills in a large pack. They refuse to give way to cars which overtake them from behind, but they ignore every stop sign along the way. The city could balance its budget on the fines if all of these scofflaws were ticketed.

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Michael Thompson, West Hills

Dear Reader:

Let’s remember, Michael, that if they were each driving a car they would be creating much more congestion.

But enough of this glass-is-half-full attitude. Not being much of a bicyclist, I called Nancy Wedeen, who teaches safe cycling techniques at Valley College, to address your complaint. She said bicyclists are allowed to take up an entire lane when the road has at least two lanes in each direction or when they are not causing a traffic backup.

But if they are causing a traffic backup, they are only guilty of an infraction, which is such a minor offense that you probably won’t find a cop willing to spend the five minutes needed to write the ticket.

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Dear Street Smart:

The reason people groom their dogs and change their pantyhose while driving is that it’s nearly impossible to change your dog or groom your pantyhose.

Roger V. Wing, Reseda

Dear Reader:

Hey, I’m supposed to do the jokes here; but I hear David Letterman needs a writer.

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