Ducks Attempt to Pocket Every Coin That’s Flipped

Coin flips. I am still seeing coin flips. In my sleep, in my soup, in my coffee, everywhere I look.

I am seeing one now--little Gary Bettman, grinning that I-hope-Michael-Eisner-still-likes-me grin of his, buffing that specially minted Canadian silver dollar on his coat sleeve until it glows like uranium and then instructing Tony Tavares and Bill Torrey, once again, to call it in the air.

The Mighty Ducks and Florida Panthers spent all weekend calling it in the air.

They flipped a coin to see which team would select fourth or fifth in the entry draft.

They flipped a coin to see which team would select first in the goaltenders phase of the expansion draft.

They flipped a coin to see which team would select first in the forwards phase of the expansion draft.

They even flipped a coin to see which team would get to call the coin flips before the goaltenders and forwards phases of the expansion draft.

(For some reason, they chose not to flip a coin to see which team would call the coin flip that determined which team would call the coin flip that determined which team would get to call the coin flips before the goaltenders and forwards phases of the draft.)

For the record, the Ducks went 1-3 in coin flips, not counting the ones they made under the table during the goaltenders, defensemen and forwards phases of the expansion draft; during their preparation for Phase II of the expansion draft; and during Rounds 2 through 11 of the entry draft.

Coinage was not required for top entry-draft selection Paul Kariya, who is money in the bank.

But how else to explain the balance of the Ducks’ original roster except . . . “Heads or tails?”

Guy Hebert or Glenn Healy? That was the biggest call Jack Ferreira had to make in Quebec, prior to Phase II of the expansion draft, otherwise referred to here as “the cross-pollination draft” or “Ottawa’s Revenge.”

Allegedly, the Ducks and the Panthers were supposed to benefit from expansion guidelines much more relaxed than those accorded the franchises that debuted in 1991 and 1992, San Jose, Ottawa and Tampa Bay. Basically, the Ducks and Panthers got to choose second-string goalies instead of third-stringers, but Ottawa and Co. squawked to the heavens, arguing that they deserved a similar break, retroactive if need be.

So the NHL came up with Phase II, in which the Ducks and Panthers were ordered to leave two of their three goalies exposed to the whims of Ottawa, San Jose and Tampa Bay in a mini-draft.

The Ducks were stung in cross-pollination. Protecting the anonymous Hebert over New York Islanders playoff hero Healy was a risk to begin with, but Ferreira figured San Jose and Ottawa wouldn’t choose a goalie (he was right) and Tampa Bay would jump at Florida’s Daren Puppa (right again).

What he hadn’t planned was Tampa Bay drafting two goalies for the purpose of trading one immediately to the New York Rangers. Oh that Espo. Lightning General Manager Phil Esposito hoodwinked Ferreira, drafting Puppa as a keeper and Healy as trade bait, knowing how huge a presence Healy remains in New York and how badly Rangers General Manager Neil Smith wanted a replacement for John Vanbiesbrouck.

It was the Ducks’ first major fowl pas. Healy would have been the franchise’s first star--great with fans and the media, resilient in the face of 55 shots per night, experienced in the demands of playing goal behind an expansion-caliber defense.

Healy spent two seasons with the Kings in the 1980s.

He also had immeasurably more trade value than Hebert, who has never been a starter in the NHL. Seconds after Tampa Bay lifted Healy, the Rangers’ Smith could seen making a beeline for Esposito. At least two other teams were angling for Healy and Smith was intent on reaching the table before anyone else.

The Ducks were left with Hebert, who has appeared in precisely 37 NHL games, and Ron Tugnutt, who was a starter for Quebec before the Nordiques got good and most recently went 9-12-2 as Bill Ranford’s caddy in Edmonton.

In other words, the Ducks are thin in the nets. This is why they spent Saturday scrambling for goalies in the entry draft--drafting three in the first eight rounds, including a 27-year-old Russian, Mikhail Shtalenkov, and Ohio State’s Tom Askey, who went 2-19 (no typo) last season.

According to the post-expansion draft consensus in Quebec, Florida got the better goaltending (Vanbiesbrouck and Mark Fitzpatrick), Anaheim got the better defense (Russian legend Alexei Kasatonov, Montreal prospect Sean Hill, Hartford captain Randy Ladouceur) and the two teams tied on offense.

Neither team got any.

Of the 26 forwards taken in the expansion draft, one, Anaheim’s Terry Yake, scored as many as 20 NHL goals last season. Only two Ducks scored more than 10 goals in ‘92-’93--Yake, with 22, and Anatoli Semenov, who had 12.

Better scorers were out there, but they came with expensive price tags. Michel Goulet had 23 goals and 43 points, but would have cost $600,000. Denis Savard and John Cullen produced 50 points apiece for Montreal and Toronto, but were also paid $1.25 million and $900,000 while doing it.

Thursday, the Ducks didn’t shell out more than $370,000 on any forward, then devoted Saturday to fishing for a bargain.

Kariya is a big-ticket purchase, but he won’t cost the Ducks a dime until he signs with them, probably no earlier than next March, after the Winter Olympics.

In the third round, the Ducks picked Russian winger Valery Karpov, who is 22, scored 25 points in 29 games for Chelybinsk and should be on one of the first three lines opening night.

After that, it was more coin flipping--an Antti Aalto here, a Vitali Kozel there--until Eisner grabbed the coin, shoved it in his pocket and led his Mighty Chintzy Ducks on their economy flight home.