GOINGS ON : 9-Day Sports Festival to Return : Activities include the Cardboard Kayak Race, and volleyball and racquetball tournaments.

It’s a time for fun, sun and exertion. It’s better known as the Semana Nautica Sports Festival, Santa Barbara’s annual get-off-the-couch and on-to-your-feet eclectic mesh of amateur competitions and activities. This year’s 56th installment, kicking off Friday for nine days, includes everything from ocean swims to tennis tournaments and treasure dives to cricket matches.

One of the sporting highlights calls for crude engineering skills and some audience participation. It’s the wet and wacky Cardboard Kayak Race, to be held at noon July 11 on the east side of Stearns Wharf.

Three-member teams will be allotted 45 minutes to construct their not-so-seaworthy creations, using only a 13-by-5-foot cardboard rectangle, duct tape, knife and marking pen. But before any of the crazy kayaks are christened and set to sea, the audience gets to pick their favorites. Voting by applause, awards are doled out for “Kayak Most Prone to Be Like the Titanic,” “Kayak Most Resembling a Jack in the Box Taco” and “Most Original Team Name.”

Now then, ready? Get set. Go! The bravado--and the laughs--begin as competitors attempt to paddle their vessels 25 yards out to sea and back to the beach.

Semana Nautica events are held at numerous locations around Santa Barbara. This weekend’s activities include volleyball tournaments at UC Santa Barbara and the East Beach Volleyball Courts, Jet Ski Nationals at Stearns Wharf and the YMCA racquetball tournament.

The assorted fun and games continue through July 11. For a complete listing and possible last-minute entry forms, call 965-0509, 963-0611, Ext. 4539 or 564-5589.

*

The Santa Barbara Symphony, conducted by Bruce Hangen, music director of the Omaha Symphony, will descend into the courthouse sunken gardens Sunday for a patriotic performance of American favorites. The free program includes a medley of works from Aaron Copeland, Richard Rodgers, Duke Ellington, selections from “The Sound of Music” and more. The Santa Barbara County Courthouse is at 1100 Anacapa St. Call 965-6596.

*

Music Academy of the West continues Tuesday with its “Academy Series,” featuring concert performances by faculty members.

This week’s program: Mozart’s Quintet in E-flat for Piano and Winds; Kodaly’s Duet for Violin and Cello, Opus 7, and Schumann’s Piano Quartet in E-flat, Opus 47.

Academy Series concerts begin at 8 p.m. and are on the campus grounds, 1070 Fairway Road, Montecito. Tickets are $20, and picnicking is encouraged. Call 969-4726.

*

Assorted theater openings:

The Santa Barbara City College Theatre Group has deep-sixed its scheduled musical summer production of Sondheim’s “Assassins” because of budgetary woes. Instead, the group will stage the farcical comedy “On the Razzle,” previewing Wednesday at the Garvin Theatre. While a musical can cost twice as much to produce as a drama or comedy, organizers said there will be no cutting corners for the production of “Razzle.”

Previews: 8 p.m. Wednesday and July 8; tickets $8, $6 senior citizens and students. Thereafter, opening July 9 and continuing through July 24: 8 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sundays. Tickets: Thursdays and Sundays, $12; Fridays and Saturdays, $14. The Garvin Theatre on the West Campus of City College, 800 block of Cliff Drive. Call 965-5935.

The Ensemble Theatre Company opens Friday with Moss Hart’s “Light Up the Sky,” a lighthearted, satirical look at show business, playing at the Alhecama Theatre. Show times: 8 p.m. Wednesdays through Saturdays and 7 p.m. Sundays, continuing through Aug. 29. Tickets: Fridays and Saturdays, $16; Thursdays, $14; Wednesdays and Sundays, $12. The theater is at 914 Santa Barbara St., Santa Barbara. Call 962-8606.

Where once there was none, now there are two. Shakespearean festivals, that is. The Santa Barbara Shakespeare Festival--not to be confused with A Company of Players, which began operation in June with “Much Ado . . . ,” will celebrate its inaugural opening tonight with “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.” The “other” festival was held outdoors at Las Positas Friendship Park; 30-year-old founder Sean O’Shea and team will perform at the Center Stage Theater.

Show times are 8 p.m. today through Saturday and Tuesday through July 10, including 2 p.m. matinees Saturdays. Tickets are $14 and $8. The theater is at the Paseo Nuevo mall, Chapala and De la Guerra streets. Call 963-0408.

*

UC Santa Barbara’s Arts and Lecture Summer Film Series continues tonight at 8 with Patrice Leconte’s “The Hairdresser’s Husband.” Parlez vous Francais? No worries. There’s always the English subtitles. Here, a French boy falls in love with his voluptuous haircutter and grows up to live out his obsession in middle age, when he meets and marries a beautiful young hairstylist.

Tickets are $5, $4 students. Call 893-3535.

*

The 102-year-old Santa Barbara County Fair continues through Sunday with live music, a carnival, roller-coaster rides, bungee cord jumping, agricultural demonstrations, kids fun and much more. Catch it all--including a Fourth of July fireworks celebration--at the Santa Barbara County Fairgrounds, 937 S. Thornburg St., Santa Maria. For information, call 925-8824.