Maybe No. 9 Bruins Can Hold Nebraska to 50

THE COLLEGES

“We’ve never played a team that’s averaging 63 points a game,” commented Terry Donahue, whose winless UCLA team has been selected to appear in the Rout of the Week against Nebraska.

Relax, coach--the statistics are misleading because Nebraska has played only twice. You’re sure to hold the Cornhuskers under 50.

At least the No. 9 Bruins are still in the running for the Bottom Ten title. Some contenders have already suffered untimely victories. Losing State University edged Mississippi State, 18-16. And Texas at El Pinpoint Paso upset Nevada (Circus Circus), 41-24.

But you can always count on the Green Ripple of Tulane, buried by Rice, 0-34.

The rankings:

School, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1.Houston (0-2) 24-38, Tulsa Idle 2. Georgia (0-2) 6-38, Tennessee Texas Tech 3. Tulane 0-2 0-34, Rice Bill & Mary 4. Miss. St. (0-2) 16-18, LSU Idle 5. Clemson (1-1) 0-57, Fla. State Idle 6. San Jose St. (0-2) 28-31, The Genius Wyoming 7. Maryland (0-2) 42-59, N.C. W. Va. 8. Arkansas St. (0-2) 19-22, New Mex. St. N. Illinois 9. UCLA (0-1) R&R; Nebraska 10. Texas (0-1) Idle Syracuse

11. Nevada (Circus Circus) (0-2); 12. Duke (0-2); 13. Awake Forest (0-2); 14. New Mexico (0-2); 15. Boston College (0-1); 16. USC (1-2); 17. SMU (0-2); 18. Washington (1-1); 19. Idle; 20. Marshall Faulk’s Heisman Trophy chances (0-1).

Rout of the Week: Nebraska (2-0) at UCLA (0-1).

Quotebook: After Rice was crushed, 34-7, by Ohio State in its first national TV appearance since 1954, Coach Fred Goldsmith said: “I’m real disappointed in our performance because I’m sure we bored the dickens out of that audience. I feel sorry for those ESPN announcers.” Why apologize? Has ESPN apologized to viewers for hiring Keith Olbermann?

THE PROS

The magic number for Dallas is 14--only 14 more losses to become the first NFL team to go 0-16 in the regular season. If nothing else, the Cowboys seem a shoo-out to better the record for most losses by a defending Super Bowl champ (9).

Bottom Ten correspondents tried unsuccessfully to find Cowboy owner Jerry Jones to assess the team’s chances for these two milestones. Have you noticed that the swaggering, once-chatty boss is keeping a low profile these days?

In an odd move, the Cowboys announced they would audition eight kickers--enough for a chorus line--to replace Lin Elliott, who was fired after missing two field-goal attempts. No hurry. Dallas’ offense doesn’t get into scoring territory very often any more.

Another one-time NFL power that is struggling is San Francisco, which fell to Cleveland and receiver Michael Jackson, 13-23. Jackson, who called himself Michael Dyson (in honor of his father) the previous week, caught a 30-yard touchdown pass. The 49er secondary complained it had only scouted Dyson.

The rankings: SUPER CHUMPS

Super Bowl Champ Year Record Next Year 1. Dallas 1992 13-3 0-2 2. San Francisco 1981 13-3 3-6* 3. N.J. Giants 1986 14-2 6-9* 4. Oakland 1980 11-5 7-9 5. Washington 1987 10-4 7-9

*Strike-shortened seasons LIKE FATHER, LIKE . . . OH WELL

Shula (Team) Lifetime Record at age 65* 1.Don (Miami) 319-152 340-165 2. Dave (Cincinnati) 5-13 226-366

*At current rateTHAT PARCELLS MAGIC

New England Coach Year Record After 2 Weeks 1. MacPherson 1992 0-2 2. Parcells 1993 0-2

Quotebook: CBS’ John Madden observed that Green Bay quarterback Brett Favre has the mentality of a linebacker, then added: “And he looked like a linebacker on that throw.”

Contract of the Year: The Sporting News reports that quarterback Hugh Millen agreed to reduce his salary from $1.4 million to $800,000 when he left New England to join Dallas. Then he was cut and re-signed for $550,000. And, he reportedly has to give back $10,000 for every game he isn’t listed No. 2 on the depth chart.