Not Only That, but Aunt Bea and Opie Are Their Closers
A sampling of David Letterman’s “New York Met excuses:”
--Mistake to let Don Knotts bat cleanup.
--Play so much golf during season, thought lowest score wins.
--Baseballs are harder to throw than explosives.
--Didn’t scratch themselves enough.
Add Mets: Believe it or not, the Mets lost bullpen pitcher John Franco for the rest of the season because of a “deep paper cut” on his left thumb.
He suffered the wound as he tried to put away a box of garbage outside his Staten Island home.
“I had to or the raccoons would have got it,” Franco said.
Trivia time: Who holds the major league record for most strikeouts in a nine-inning game?
Scary, daddy: R. Yauger Williams, a freshman offensive lineman for the University of California, lists his nickname as “Yagzilla.”
Can we renegotiate? From Kevin Paul Dupont of the Boston Globe: “Los Angeles being what it is, it’s surprising that Kings owner Bruce McNall didn’t pay Wayne Gretzky $29.7 million for three years.
“No. 99 then would have been coining $9.9 million per year and it would have looked L.A. Cool, one chic check for the game’s No. 1 drawing card.”
Add Gretzky: An Edmonton newspaper says the NHL Oilers’ payroll this season is between $8.5 million and $9 million.
Gretzky’s three-year contract with the Kings of $25.5 million averages $8.5 million.
Power of prayer: Cincinnati Bengal General Manager Mike Brown on the competitiveness of nose tackle Tim Krumrie:
“It wouldn’t matter if you put Timmy out on the field with 10 nuns on his side. He’d still be thinking he could win and trying just as hard.”
Cool guy: Dallas Cowboy wide receiver Alvin Harper is from Frostproof, Fla.
Where was Hooker? Sports Illustrated reports that in a tournament at Cincinnati’s Miami Whitewater Golf Course, John Hacker of Winton Woods High played T.J. Shank of Northwest High. Shank beat Hacker on the last hole.
Drowning franchise: Chet Coppock of the Chicago Sun-Times on Tampa Bay before the Buccaneers were beaten by the Bears on Sunday, 47-17:
“Tampa Bay, averaging a whopping 35 yards per game on the ground, is headed toward an 11th consecutive losing season. It should be given federal aid.”
Trivia answer: Roger Clemens of the Boston Red Sox with 20 against Seattle in 1986.
Quotebook: Australian heptathlete Jayne Fleming on Sydney being awarded the 2000 Olympic Games: “I’ve got sore smile muscles.”