Faulk Left as an Aztec in Ruins

Marshall, you stayed in school for this?

UCLA 52, San Diego State 13 was the final score of Thursday night’s traditional UCLA fraternity paddling of San Diego State, bringing the series’ totals to something like UCLA 52,000,000, San Diego State 13. This officially ends a series that has been almost as funny as Jerry Seinfeld’s and unofficially ends the Heisman Trophy chances of Marshall Faulk, who won’t be bringing home any trophies this season unless he belongs to a bowling league.

Faulk wasn’t one of the four best backs on the field. UCLA’s James Milliner outran Faulk. (That Milliner, you have to take your hat off to him.) UCLA’s Daron Washington outran Faulk. UCLA’s Derek Ayers outran Faulk. Had he played more than one series, UCLA’s Sharmon Shah would have outrun Faulk. Had he suited up, UCLA’s Skip Hicks would have outrun Faulk.

Faulk got 53 yards. He’s been outrushed this season three times in five games. Could have turned pro. Could have gone right after Drew Bledsoe and Rick Mirer, probably. But no. Some guys will do anything to keep from playing for the Phoenix Cardinals.

A humiliation, 52-13, eh, Marsh?

“Of course,” he said.

What do you have to say for yourself?

“Nothing. You watched it. There’s nothing I can say about it.”

What went wrong?

“I have no idea. We were not there tonight, that’s definite. Things started out bad and just kept going bad.”

Hurt you for the Heisman, huh?

“I don’t care about the Heisman! What you saw happen tonight to this team is more important to me than winning the trophy,” Faulk snapped.

What happened to the Aztecs shouldn’t happen to anybody on a first-name basis with Montezuma. They were in this game for, oh, a good 30 seconds. UCLA’s Jamir Miller and George Kase introduced themselves to the San Diego State quarterback so often, you’d have thought they were selling insurance. When the quarterback looked for open men, he found them, although they usually turned out to be UCLA’s Donnie Edwards or Carl Greenwood.

And, after a while, the home team’s defense did crack down and began holding J.J. Stokes to catches well under 50 yards.

Extra, extra, read all about it (again):

Bruins leave Aztecs in ruins.

“For whatever reason, we don’t think we can beat those people,” said the losing coach, scowlin’ Al Luginbill. “Questions?”

Yeah, Al. Sorry to see the series end?

“I’d still like to have the series,” Luginbill said. “But I’d like it better if we played better.”

Yeah, so would UCLA.

Good news is, San Diego State has scheduled Navy for next season. Should be a fine contest.

Thursday’s game here was so bad, you would have thought it involved the Padres. Luginbill called it: “Embarrassing and humiliating.”

On the other hand, with 11 minutes 20 seconds remaining, the jumbo electronic scoreboard at San Diego Jack Murphy Stadium informed the crowd that Aztec defensive lineman Jamal Duff had been named the “Dixie Line Lumber Lineman of the Game.” Congratulations, Jamal!

Nice defense they have here.

Since 1985, UCLA has beaten these guys by 34-16, 45-14, 47-14, 59-6, 28-25, 45-31, 37-12, 35-7 and now 52-13.

And you say this team beat Minnesota, 48-17? Which Minnesota--the one coached by Craig T. Nelson and Jerry Van Dyke? Every time UCLA plays San Diego State, it meets a team that considers pass defense to be tackling a receiver who catches the ball. San Diego State is to pass defense what Denny’s is to four-star dining. These guys don’t have a secondary. They have a third-dary.

UCLA is reborn after a poor start. Terry Donahue obviously spent the entire winter shopping at Halfbacks R Us. He appears to have at least eight of them. He’s probably saving some 300-pound baby Refrigerator for next week’s game against Brigham Young. Quick, somebody grab tackle Vaughn Parker and ask him how he’d like to carry the ball in short-yardage situations. Probably chug for a couple of scores. Nominate you for one of them Heismans.

Well, so long, San Diego State.

Pleasure beating you.