"It's nearly like a middle-of-the-season national championship," Florida State Coach Bobby Bowden said of this weekend's big matchup.
Bowden was undoubtedly referring to the titanic skirmish between the Nos. 1 and 4 Bottom Ten powers, Maryland (0-5) and Georgia Tech (1-3).
Talk about credentials: Maryland lost by 63 points Saturday, Georgia Tech by 51. Maryland is giving up an average of 53.8 points per game--four more than the NCAA single-season record of 49.5, set in 1973 by Texas of El No-Defense-Against-the Paso.
Georgia Tech, aptly nicknamed the Rambling Wreck, mirrors the statewide decline of college and pro football in Georgia (see Nos. 3-5).
Pity the poor sports fan in Atlanta, with no winners to root for.
Meanwhile, the shocking rumor out of San Diego State is that running back Marshall Faulk has performed so poorly (53 yards against UCLA) that he's in danger of flunking physical education.
School officials have warned him that he may have to take football over again next year in order to graduate.
School, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1.Maryland (0-5) 7-70, Penn State Georgia Tech 2. Temple (1-3) 0-62, Rutgers Army 3. Georgia (1-4) 10-20, Arkansas S. Miss. 4. Georgia Tech (1-3) 0-51, Fla. State Maryland 5. Atlanta (0-5) 0-6, Chicago Idle 6. San Jose St. (0-5) 17-52, Washington Idle 7. Pitt (1-3) 7-29, Louisville Notre Dame 8. Stanford (2-3) 20-48, Notre Dame Idle 9. Utah State (1-4) 17-38, LSU Idle 10. Texas Tech (1-4) 6-31, Texas A$M N.C. State
11. Las Vegas (Circus Circus) (1-4); 12. Minnesota (1-4); 13. Iowa State (1-4); 14. Colorado State (1-4); 15. Arkansas State (1-4); 16. Purdue (1-3); 17. Ole Mississippi State (1-3); 18. USC (2-3); 19. Idle 20. Airplane food (26 Oklahoma players got food poisoning after eating sandwiches on chartered flight home from Iowa State game).
Rout of the Week: Pitt (1-3) at Notre Dame (5-0).
Cincinnati (0-4) and Olde England (0-4) were idle over the weekend, as was Atlanta (0-5), a 0-6 loser to Chicago.
There was gloom among Seattle officials after the Seahawks surpassed their 1992 victory total of two, thereby enabling rookie QB Rick Mirer to earn a $3,007,500 bonus.
When the Seahawks negotiated the contract with Mirer, they believed there was no chance that the team would win three games in the same year.
And who can explain the turnaround by the Dallas Cowboys, losers of their first two games?
A contender for most ironic new football book title is "I'm Still Scrambling," by Philadelphia's Randall Cunningham, who broke his leg over the weekend.
Dolt, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Atlanta (0-5) 0-6, Chicago In Hiding 2. Cincinnati (0-4) In Hiding K.C. 3. Olde England (0-4) In Hiding Phoenix
THEY COULDN'T KICK
SOME NOT-SO-ACCURATE FIELD GOAL KICKERS
Player, Team, (Year) Made-Att. Pct. 1. Geri, Chi Cards (1952) 2-18 .111 2. Niccolai, Pitt. (1943) 2-14 .143 3. Aveni, Wash. (1961) 5-28 .179 4. Lio, Det. (1944) 2-11 .182 5. Patton, Phil. (1947) 3-14* .214 6. Blanda, Chi. Bears (1952) 6-25 .240
*Patton's longest that year was 17 yards.
The Wild, Wild Midwest: When Kansas City linebacker Tracy Simien mimicked a gunfighter after making a tackle against the Raiders, NBC's Paul Maguire quipped: "Don't do that in front of Dale Carter." The Chiefs' Carter had been the passenger in a car involved in a shooting incident at midweek.