The unseen voice that has the mayor’s...

The unseen voice that has the mayor’s ear: During a visit by City Councilman John Ferraro the other day, Mayor Richard Riordan sneezed. Suddenly, the sound of raucous laughter filled the office. It wasn’t Ferraro’s. The sneeze had set off a sound box in a laughing pumpkin that Riordan recently adopted.

We suspect the pumpkin would have had the same reaction if it had heard Riordan’s endorsement of that abortive plan to sell the Central Library to Philip Morris.

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Welcome, Mr. President, but who invited you?Here’s how low politicians have sunk. Culver City, the site of a recent appearance by Bill Clinton, doesn’t want to pick up the tab for the overtime pay for its Police and Fire departments.

Inasmuch as the President’s talk before a group of senior citizens was sponsored by the American Assn. of Retired Persons, Mayor Mike Balkman wants the nonprofit AARP to foot the bill.

“We were glad the President visited and all that, but we didn’t invite him,” Balkman pointed out. “This is a fiscally constrained time and we don’t need an extra expense of $5,000 to $10,000.”

The AARP is balking at Balkman’s proposal, although the group hasn’t yet received a bill from the city.

The mayor seemed philosophical. “We’re not going to sue them,” he said. “And we’re not going to go after the White House. That would be ludicrous.”

Now, if the tab was $20,000. . . .

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Isn’t it the CUSTOMER who’s always supposed to be right?Anita Gregory of Pasadena sent along a photo of her brother, Tim Gregory, posing in front of a restaurant sign that seems to give seating priority to its own employees.

Return to Sender Hall of Fame: The Hyatt Regency hotel, as you may have read, owes the city a tax penalty of $62,373. Why? Well, the hotel had owed $293,000 in room taxes but the check arrived three days late. The Hyatt, which is protesting the penalty, said it forgot to put a stamp on the letter. Hmmm, seems like we’ve heard that one before.

Of course, this pales beside the $333,407 penalty that the Department of Water and Power had to pay in 1992 for a late property tax filing. What happened? Insufficient postage.

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Tricky Dick or treat?Former President Richard Nixon made a rare appearance the other night at a fund-raiser for George Allen, Virginia’s Republican gubernatorial candidate. Both Republicans and Democrats professed delight.

Allen is the son of the late Washington Redskin and L.A. Rams coach of the same name, a friend of Nixon’s.

Republicans were happy because the fund-raiser will help pay off Allen’s campaign debt. Meanwhile, an aide to the Democratic candidate, Mary Sue Terry, was cheered that Allen would be associated with a “President who resigned in disgrace.”

Young Allen no doubt hopes that Nixon proves more of a help to him than the former President was to his father. Nixon once designed a special play--a screen pass--for coach Allen to try against the San Francisco 49ers but it failed.

Nixon obviously wasn’t tricky enough for the 49ers.

miscelLAny:

In her history of Culver City, author Julie Lugo Cerra relates that the city’s Brotman Medical Center was originally known as the Heart of Screenland Hospital.