Information Superhypeway

The proposed marriage of cable baron John Malone’s Tele-Communications Inc. with regional phone giant Bell Atlantic has sparked considerable interest in the prospects of the much-touted “information superhighway,” a term describing the electronic network people expect will soon link homes to an array of services such as movies on demand and interactive television programs.

Also sparked was the creation of an endless number of metaphors used to describe the highway or some aspect of it--as evidenced by a quick check of recent press articles. There is the information expressway, the data superhighway, potholes on the superhighway, road kills on the information highway, information superhighway on-ramps, digital superhighway, multimedia highway and information toll road.

Also, the digital turnpike, information avenue, high-speed lanes on the superhighway, shoulders on the information highway where you can pull off, Burma Shave signs on the information highways and information gravel road.

We’d like to suggest still another: the information superhighway SigAlert for the day when the whole system crashes.

Mystery Seller

“Major Fortune 500 Company Must Sell!!” screams a brochure advertising a sealed-bid auction of 28 commercial land parcels scheduled for Nov. 16.

The properties, to be sold by Santa Monica property auctioneer Kennedy-Wilson Inc., are scattered in California, Washington, Oregon, Arizona, Nevada, Kansas, Oklahoma and Texas. Parcels range from property next to a shopping center in Indio to another by a post office in Laughlin, Nev.

So what Fortune 500 company is getting rid of the properties? A check of property records indicates the seller is Los Angeles oil giant Unocal Corp.

A Unocal spokesman says the properties are either former Unocal station sites or were going to be station locations before the decision was made to sell them.

Houses of Cards

More proof that if you have a creative idea, others will copy it to death:

A couple of years back, there were Desert Storm trading cards, S&L; scandal cards, trading cards on the attempted Soviet coup and even a collection of trading cards picturing famous mass murderers.

Now flooding the market is a batch of cards from Harvard showing well-known economists. Last week, a collection of Marilyn Monroe trading cards went on sale.

Then there is a Sears collection for hardware buffs, featuring cards of industrial drills, reversible ratchets and tool chests.

Briefly . . .

Pancake theory of management: Bank of Boston describes a management reorganization plan designed to improve things by “flattening our organization.” . . . A Pasadena hypnotherapist offers 10% off on the first session exploring your “past-life regressions.” . . . Zoe Baird impact continues: A Maryland company offers to handle federal and state tax filings for nannies for $35 per quarter.