The Fight Against Crime: Notes From the Battlefront : An Arresting Way With a Press Release

Reading press releases from police departments is almost always depressing. Unless they come from Burbank.

“A male was arrested after being observed picking rare cactus apples,” read an item on a recent Burbank Police Department press release.

“Two local male gang members were arrested at a local park after saying naughty words to members of the BPD gang detail,” said another.

And then there was: “Male arrested for eating small worms stolen from fisherman.”

“That was one of my favorites,” Burbank Police Sgt. Len Doran said with a laugh. Doran, 52, is director of the department’s communication center and puts out the press releases with an eye for the absurd and askew. They are eagerly awaited by local journalists on weekday mornings.

“I still don’t know exactly what a cactus apple is,” said Doran, sitting in his newly renovated office behind the main police building. The blinds were drawn because the only view outside his large window was of a covered parking lot. On his bulletin board were several drawings made by his 6-year-old daughter.

Doran, a friendly man of ample girth, has been with the department for almost 27 years.

“A sergeant saw some guy walking down the street looking in windows and trying door handles,” he said, telling with relish the story of the cactus apples. “It doesn’t take a police officer to realize that the guy is up to no good.”

The sergeant alleged that he saw the man enter a private cactus garden and pick several Opuntia ficus-indica, better known as cactus apples. The arrest was made and the owner of the garden, who had been getting it ready for a pending magazine photo shoot, pressed charges.

Just as Doran was wrapping up the tale, the sergeant who made the arrest--Pat Lynch--called to chat. “It was the highlight of my career,” said Lynch over the phone with a laugh, adding that since Doran publicized the arrest with the press release, he has been the brunt of numerous jokes.

But Lynch got the last laugh.

“Turned out that when we checked out the guy,” Lynch said, “he was wanted on a $20,000 warrant for dealing cocaine.” The “naughty words” incident also had a serious side. Police say they were worried about being overpowered by a group of increasingly rowdy teen-agers emerging from a gym. The teen-agers had done nothing wrong, but they were taunting the officers and the scene was turning ugly.

Finally, some of the teen-agers started to swear. “There is a section of the disturbing the peace section,” Doran said, “that outlaws obscenity when it may result in a violent response.”

A few were arrested, he said, and the group dissipated.

Sometimes, Doran is deliberately vague to pique interest. “Old friend robs old man of money by use of fear,” read an item, in its entirety, that Doran included in his report Monday. To get the details, news hounds have to give him a call.

Doran clearly enjoys his dealings with the press. But he would much rather be back on the street in a police car. “Every time I hear about a good chase,” he said, “I am just so jealous.”

Before coming inside to a desk job, Doran was the head of the special enforcement team that is sent out to handle problematic arrests and other out-of-the-ordinary duties. “It was the most fun I’ve ever had in my life,” Doran said of the team.

But last year Doran’s wife, whose picture is also on the bulletin board, died after a battle with cancer. He now has the responsibilities of a single parent and needed a position with regular hours. “I had to make sure I could pick up my daughter from school, do the things a single parent has to do.”

As much as he obviously dotes on his little girl, he feels confined behind a desk.

“I’m bored here,” he said with a shrug. “I guess that’s why I do the press releases the way I do.”

Often, he can’t tell if anyone is laughing along with him. Take, for example, the “worms” item.

“That was purely a joke, the only one I completely made up,” said Doran with a big smile. “I just wanted to see what reaction I would get.

“But no one called.”