‘Goldsteins’ Can’t Get It Straight

Marni Freedman’s “Two Goldsteins on Acid” at the Wooden-O Theatre is as sophomoric as the title suggests. It’s a melodramatic sitcom about a Jewish clan’s domestic mess that leaves few hoary family room cliches unturned. And nearly a cast full of sturdy actors are wasted on it.

Meet the Goldsteins. Dad’s going through a late-life crisis, Mom’s trying to perfect her spaghetti sauce recipe and youngest daughter, Brianna, (Susan Heimbinder) is holed up in her bedroom because her boyfriend dumped her.

Meanwhile, Brianna’s three siblings have come home for dimwit daughter Jenine’s (Sarah Taylor) wedding--which is apparently going to take place even though Ms. Borscht-for-brains recently found her groom trying on her old prom dress. And as if this weren’t enough, Dad’s being huffy about gay son David’s (Dean Minerd) plans to adopt a little girl, and neurotic daughter Alex (Maria Spassoff) has been seeing a married man. Oy, oy, oy.

Director Allison Liddi’s chief contribution was in the casting. Not only do the sisters actually look like sisters, but the actresses handle their trite roles with grace. Beverly Sanders and Steve Franken also make convincing parents.

* “Two Goldsteins on Acid,” Wooden-O Theatre, 2207 Federal Ave., West L.A., Fridays-Saturdays, 8 p.m. Ends Dec. 18. $12.50. (310) 477-2199. Running time: 2 hours, 10 minutes.