Multicultural Manners : A Coffee Break Gone Awry

Vardui, an Armenian student from Iran, met some Armenian sisters from Kuwait one day in her community college cafeteria. They were charming and Vardui invited them to her home the next day.

The Kuwaitis arrived at 10:30 a.m. and Vardui offered them cookies and fruit right away. Then she made coffee. When she served it, the Kuwaitis looked bewildered. They drank their coffee and rose to leave, clearly upset but offering no explanation.

What went wrong?

In many Arab countries, coffee is served only at the end of a social event. Thus, when Vardui served coffee at the beginning, her guests thought it was a signal for them to leave, that she didn’t like them. When Vardui ran into her guests again on campus, she told them she understood her error and apologized.

Vardui had assumed that because her guests were Armenian, their customs would be like hers. But Armenians, like other dispersed cultures, eventually absorb some customs of their resident countries. While Vardui observed many Iranian conventions, her guests followed Arabic ways. One day, these newcomers will be influenced by U.S. traditions as well.

Rule: Before serving food to people of differing backgrounds, tell them what your custom is. Then ask them about theirs.