GOINGS ON : Up for Bid: Horseback Ride With Bo Derek : And there’s more at fantasy auction to benefit the Kenny Loggins Christmas Unity Telethon for the needy.

Drum lessons with Chad Smith of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. A horseback ride with Bo Derek. These are either excerpts from a pretty wild dream, or items up for bid at a fantasy auction.

As luck would have it, they are the latter.

The San Ysidro Ranch will host an auction Saturday to benefit the Kenny Loggins Christmas Unity Telethon, an annual fund-raiser that helps provide food, clothing and jobs for those in need.

Festivities will kick off at 11 a.m. with a variety of children’s entertainment and activities. A barbecue will be served from noon to 1:30 p.m. followed by the auction.

Items up for bid include a role as an extra in an upcoming Columbia Pictures film, original cels from several cartoon series and a portrait session with Santa Barbara artist-writer Barnaby Conrad.

Of course, several celebrities are expected to attend. So far, comedian Richard Lewis and Beach Boy Bruce Johnson have committed. Admission is $125. Reservations are required. Call 969-5046. The ranch is at 900 San Ysidro Lane, Montecito.

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Santa Barbara will host the second annual Lesbian and Gay Film Festival tonight through Saturday at Santa Barbara’s Fiesta 5 Theater and on Sunday at the Center Stage Theater.

The cinematic lineup includes “For a Lost Soldier,” “Forbidden Love,” “Sex Is,” and “Female Misbehavior.” Show times are 6:30 and 9 tonight, Friday at 7 and 9:15 p.m., and Saturday at 6:30 and 8:30 p.m. Sunday’s presentation will begin at 1 p.m. with a collection of video shorts, followed at 3:15 p.m. with a showing of “Gay Agenda,” a video opposing the lifting of the ban against gays in the military. There will be a panel discussion after the video.

A series pass is $40. Individual tickets are $7. Call 963-3636 for more information. The Fiesta 5 is at 916 State St. Center Stage is on the second level of the Paseo Nuevo shopping center at the corner of Chapala and De La Guerra streets.

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The UC Santa Barbara music department will present “An Evening of Indian Classical Music” beginning at 8 p.m. Friday at the Lotte Lehmann Concert Hall. General admission is $8. Call 893-3535.

Craftwork from India, Africa, Mexico, Thailand, Burma, the Philippines and other locales will be on sale this weekend at the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History’s Folk and Tribal Arts Marketplace. Proceeds will benefit the museum’s educational programs. The marketplace will be open 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday and Saturday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday. Admission is free. The museum is at 2559 Puesta del Sol Road. Call 682-4711 for more information.

It truly will be Santa Barbara on Saturday, when the jolly old gift-giver himself joins “The Magic of Christmas” parade up State Street. This ringing in of the holiday season will begin at 10 a.m. at Ortega and State streets, make its way up State to Micheltorena Street, and conclude at the new Kids World playground in Alameda Park about noon. The more than 2,000 parade entrants will include Girl and Cub Scouts, local school bands, and the Santa Barbara Flyers trained dog club. Canned goods will be collected for Santa Barbara’s Christmas Unity Fund. Call 962-2098 for more information.

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Pianists Theo Lieven and Hannes Keller will be the featured performers when the Los Angeles-based American Youth Symphony visits Santa Barbara’s Arlington Theatre Sunday evening. The ensemble of 110 Southern California musicians, age 16 to 25, is led by 85-year-old conductor Mehli Mehta (Zubin’s father), who founded the group in 1964.

Sunday’s program will include Berlioz’s “Roman Carnival Overture,” Mozart’s Concerto for Two Pianos, No. 10 in E-Flat Major, and Mussorgsky/Ravel’s “Pictures at an Exhibition.”

The Community Arts Music Assn.’s special fee for the event is $12 for one adult and two children under age 18. For more information call 966-4324. The Arlington is at 1317 State St.

The Santa Barbara Trust for Historic Preservation will present its annual Christmas production, “Una Pastorela” (“A Shepherd’s Play”), Tuesday night through Dec. 19, at the Presidio Chapel. The story of the shepherd’s journey to Bethlehem to see the baby Jesus will be performed by local actors and members of the community. Show times are Tuesday through Dec. 11, and Dec. 15 to 18 at 8 p.m., and Dec. 11, 12, 18, and 19 at 5 p.m. Tickets for Tuesday’s show are $4. Tickets for the remainder of the performances are $6 for adults and $5 for children and seniors. Call 965-0093. The Presidio is at 129 E. Canon Perdido St.

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British pianist Graham Scott will get top billing at the Santa Barbara Chamber Orchestra’s concert Tuesday at 8 p.m. at the Lobero Theater. The program: Beethoven’s Piano Concert No. 3 in C Minor, Mendelssohn’s overture to “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and Donald Crockett’s “Antiphonies.” Tickets are $24, $19 and $15. Call 963-0761. The Lobero is at 33 E. Canon Perdido St.

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Don’t forget the Santa Barbara Symphony’s special concert Wednesday at the Arlington Theatre. The performance, featuring Andre Watts, Gilles Apap and Jerome Lowenthal, will be a tribute to Varujan Kojian, the symphony’s conductor from 1985 until his death earlier this year. Show time is 8 p.m. Tickets range from $15 to $50. (A $100 ticket will get you into a reception.) Call 963-4408.