Patriots Are Only Best of Worst, 7-2

The New England Patriots defeated the Cincinnati Bengals, 7-2, Sunday, in a game between two 1-11 teams that won’t become a training film for how to run an offense.

The Bengals get the consolation prize: Their 1-12 record gives them an edge over the Patriots (2-11) for the first pick in next year’s draft.

The teams combined for only 389 yards, 27 first downs and 20 completions. There were 14 punts and countless dropped passes.

Cincinnati’s Patrick Robinson called a fair catch on a kickoff with 20 yards of open field ahead of him. New England punter Mike Saxon let a good snap fly through his hands, giving the Bengals an excellent chance in the final minutes. Of course, they failed.

Some relief from the pro football parody was the game’s only touchdown on Drew Bledsoe’s eight-yard pass to Ben Coates 25 seconds before halftime. Coates sounded as if it was a schoolyard play drawn up in the dirt.

“He threw it and I happened to be there,” Coates said.

The Bengals did nothing to earn their points. With a fourth down at the New England two-yard line, Patriot snapper Marv Cook deliberately sent the ball over Saxon’s head and into the stands for a safety with 19 seconds remaining.

Earlier, on fourth and goal at the Patriots’ one with 1:16 remaining, Eric Ball was thrown for a one-yard loss on his only carry.