Orange County Voices : COMMENTARY ON SOCIETY : U.N. Proclamation Puts Family at Front of Global Concerns : County panel plans to make 1994 a year in which we pull our resources together and share solutions to problems.

Every new year brings with it hope for meeting new goals, the desire to bring about changes that will improve the quality of one’s life, and the determination to break habits and patterns that are self-defeating.

In this regard, 1994 will bring a special challenge around the globe. The United Nations has proclaimed it International Year of the Family. The theme of the year is “Family: Resources and Responsibilities in a Changing World.” The motto is “Building the Smallest Democracy at the Heart of Society.” The underlying principles of the proclamation are: The family constitutes the basic unit of society and therefore warrants special attention. The United Nations recognizes that the family as an institution is the single most important means of perpetuating values nurturing individuals, building self-esteem and providing stability in any society.

If we accept the premise that secure families determine the degree of society’s security, we in Orange County have serious problems. The concern I hear over and over is the fear and insecurity people feel, in their homes and in their communities. There are crime, drugs, gangs and violence. We have children shooting children, children becoming parents, children abandoned before they have a name.

Hate crimes and multiethnic tensions are impacting families and individuals across all sectors of our society.

Families cannot rely totally on law enforcement or the legal system to solve the problems of violence. These problems have roots within social forces, but it is within the family that they are exaggerated or softened and contained.

It is within the family that we should receive the basic training for skills that will help us live in a larger “family”--our community. We need to learn to share, to develop a sense of responsibility, to have tenderness and compassion for others, to be tolerant and accepting of individual differences and to be honest. When we fail to learn these values as individuals, the consequence will permeate our society, including political and social policies.

The values that we uphold today of competition, individualism, aggressiveness and materialism, if not tempered, are guaranteed to bring disappointment and a sense of chronic emptiness. I believe we need to balance competition with cooperation, individualism with individuation, assertiveness with empathy, and materialism with sustainable economics.

When I read or hear the outcries about the eroding values in our society, I am reminded of what Aristotle taught 2,300 years ago. For an individual to achieve happiness in life and to live in harmony with his society, one must build one’s character on three values: to be temperate, that is, to curb our desire for excess and extremes; to have courage and face our fears and the challenge to do what is right; and to be just toward others. Christianity, 300 years later, added another value: to love one another.

There are no easy answers to the problems facing families today. However, I believe that a strong and healthy family will generate strong, healthy adults who will be better able to approach the increasingly difficult social and economic problems we face in creative and optimistic ways.

Henryk Sokolski, who was named international coordinator for the year, said: “Global concern for the family is not born of a nostalgic desire for simpler times, when rules and roles were less clouded by ambiguity, and the future less uncertain. Indeed, the so-called uncomplicated world of yesterday was in many ways not the sort of society we want to live in tomorrow; notably, for example, in respect to the subjugation of women, the reprehensible exploitation of children, or the neglect of the elderly and persons with disabilities. On the contrary, the concerns which stimulated the International Year of the Family are very much a reflection of intensely contemporary issues, with real and substantial implications for the future.”

The U.N. General Assembly, in proclaiming the Year of the Family, agreed that activities for the year should be at the local and regional level. In compliance with that declaration, the Orange County Committee for the U.N. International Year of the Family was formed. The committee comprises knowledgeable and diverse people whose common goal and commitment are to build strength and integrity in all families within the community.

The committee is planning a number of activities throughout the year, including a week of family focus in schools and religious institutions, and a conference on health care and parenting. Every Orange County city has been invited to participate in living room dialogues (small multicultural, multiracial discussion groups aimed at further understanding of one another).

There is increasing awareness that government cannot be relied on to solve all the problems of society. The goal for the year is to support families, to promote the inherent strengths of families, to build a family-friendly community, and to help families find creative solutions to problems within each community.

Families can make a difference. Little can be accomplished in isolation, but with combined efforts, much can be done. However, there needs to be increased cooperation among government, businesses and volunteer grass-roots organizations.

I am impressed by the large numbers of groups and citizens who have been working diligently, although independently, to solve problems in creative ways. Hopefully, we can make this a year in which we pull our resources together, share our creativity and energy, and let each other know about solutions to problems.

When I hear expressions of discouragement about the difficult task ahead, I am reminded of other “idealistic” efforts. It has been 30 years since the U.S. surgeon general warned against the dangers of smoking, since President John F. Kennedy promoted physical fitness. Little happened at first. The seed was planted long before it flourished; but it did flourish!