Multicultural Manners : Flowers Can Be a Thorny Issue

Anahid, an Armenian girl, misses her Iranian friend, Leila, who is away on her honeymoon. She visits Leila’s mother, Mrs. Golestani, and brings her yellow flowers.

Mrs. Golestani is pleased to see Anahid and hugs her, but as soon as she sees the yellow flowers the older woman’s face turns red. She ushers Anahid into the living room, but immediately excuses herself to prepare some tea. After waiting what seemed like a long time, Anahid walks into the kitchen and discovers Mrs. Golestani crying.

Alarmed, Anahid asks, “What’s wrong?” Before Mrs. Golestani can answer, Anahid notices that her flowers have been tossed on the floor in the corner of the room.

Accusingly, Mrs. Golestani says, “I didn’t know you hated us so much.”

What went wrong?

In Iranian culture, giving someone yellow flowers means you hate them. It can even mean that you wish the person were dead. Anahid had to plead with Mrs. Golestani to reveal this information and the explanation shocked her. In defense, Anahid explained that to Armenians yellow flowers mean “I miss you.” Ultimately, she convinced Mrs. Golestani of her sincerity and their relationship was restored.

Rule: The colors of flowers have different meanings for different cultures.