Put this theory in the doghouse: One...

Put this theory in the doghouse: One comparatively recent myth is that earthquakes are preceded by large numbers of missing-pet items in local newspapers.

It was propounded by a geologist named Jim Berkland, who was profiled in True News magazine in 1992 under the headline: “He Finds Earthquakes in the Classifieds.”

Berkland’s belief was that “animals . . . somehow sense changes in our magnetic field that precede these kinds of disasters.” He said there was “an all-time record of 83 missing dog ads in the Los Angeles Times classifieds” at the time of the “big earthquake that struck the L.A. area last summer”--apparently a reference to the Twin Temblors of June, 1992.

Monday’s L.A. Times, however, had only 19 missing-pet ads, in addition to 26 found-pet items.

Of course, Berkland plays it safe. True News identified him as a San Jose resident.

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In need, sort of: While nervous residents could be seen stocking up on supplies all over the Southland, Westsiders still had standards to observe.

A woman appeared at a convenience store on Montana Avenue in Santa Monica after the quake and breathlessly asked: “Sir, I need bread. Do you have any bread?”

“I only have day-old bread,” replied the proprietor, whose store was a shambles.

The woman hesitated. “Oh,” she said. “Wait just a minute. I’ll have to check with my husband.”

She scurried out to a nearby parking lot to consult.

She returned and announced: “He says if that’s all you’ve got, we’ll take it.”

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View from the East: CBS co-anchor Connie Chung declared on Monday night’s newscast that the quake had “wiped out the freeway system in L.A.,” which struck us as a bit of an overstatement. But the maps of L.A. in Tuesday’s New York Times seemed to confirm this assertion. The detailed maps of L.A.’s transportation system gave no hint of the new Century Freeway (105). Inasmuch as it cost $2.2 billion and decades to build, we certainly hope it still exists.

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Earthquake chasing?Don Pellissier of Whittier sent along what he called a “crass bit of opportunism”--a flyer from a Prudential real estate agent that said, “This morning’s ‘wake-up call’ should be a reminder for us to check our level of preparedness. I thought these tips would be helpful for you. I trust you and your loved ones are well.”

The flyer also contained a section titled: “27 Things to Help You Survive an Earthquake.”

Pellissier said he found the flyer on his front porch “a mere eight hours after the earthquake.”

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One piece of good news: “We’ve been watching TV for 10 hours, and there hasn’t been one mention of the Menendez brothers, the Bobbitts or Michael Jackson,” said Bruce Hunkins of Inglewood, who phoned The Times the day of the quake.

“If there’s a silver lining to the quake, this is it.”

miscelLAny:

So it’s back to Square 1 for the Santa Monica Freeway. Old-timers will recall that during the first three years of its existence, 1961-1964, there was no stretch of freeway between Vermont Avenue and La Cienega Boulevard.