A Forum For Community Issues : Sermon : On What to Look for When Choosing a Healer

As a rabbi for the last 24 years, I turn to the Bible for inspiration. After all, it has been a best-seller and translated into every language possible. I always find answers to complex problems in simple biblical standards. Let me illustrate:

A woman of high professional standing and education visited me seeking pastoral advice. Her dilemma related to her marriage, family and work. She was unable to balance her life.

Realizing that there was much more here, I asked if she had sought help from a therapist or psychiatrist. She said that she had been seeing a psychiatrist for the last two years. Nothing had changed, and now she felt completely helpless. As a last resort, she turned to religion.

I asked her three questions: * Is your therapist married or divorced?

* Does your therapist believe in God and organized religion?

* Does your therapist love children?

She thought the questions over before slowly stating that in all three cases, the answer was negative.

Her psychiatrist had been married and remarried and was going through a second divorce. He said he did not believe in religion, claiming that it was repressive and guilt-evoking. And last but not least, he added that he did not especially care for children, whom he described as “ego-centered.” “And not everyone has the patience to care for them,” he said.

I then asked her if she believed in God and wanted to remain married. She immediately answered, “Of course,” adding, “I love my children.” I told her that her actions were incongruent: Going to a healer who does not live the way she wants to live is absurd. If anything, her therapist personified the opposite lifestyle. At the very least, she should have found a healer that had two of the three characteristics.

The Ten Commandments come to mind. It’s been said that they really are commandments, not just suggestions. They teach us how to live happily. We are not to covet, but we are to love, share and respect one another. By observing them, we learn to love our children, care for our fellow man and be faithful to our spouses. That is the stabilizing force for living the good life.

The commandments were originally given to the Jewish nation. But there is no monopoly on good things.

Therapists, doctors, social workers and even spiritual healers help those in need. However, they carry the responsibility of first obeying the commandments and setting standards. Society receives inspiration from the example set by its healers.

I wish the woman hadn’t waited two years before turning to God for help and inspiration.