They Departed Before Dance Got Started

UCLA, California and Washington State lost first-round NCAA tournament games, but the Pacific 10 Conference has had more embarrassing years, as recalled by Greg Hansen of the Arizona Daily Star:

“In 1981, No. 1 seeded Oregon State, No. 2 seeded UCLA and No. 3 seeded Arizona State all lost in the first round. Zip and three.

“And then there was the 1985 disaster, when the Pac-10 went 0-4 in first rounders, as Washington, Arizona, USC and Oregon State bowed out in what remains as an NCAA-worst record for a conference in one tournament.”

Trivia time: What is Jim Harrick’s NCAA tournament record as coach at Pepperdine and UCLA?

Welcome mat: Headline in the Star-Tribune of Minneapolis after Stacey King of the Chicago Bulls was traded to the Timberwolves for Luc Longley:

“Wolves Add Another Royal Pain in the Locker Room.”

Career move: David Letterman on Charles Kuralt’s retirement at CBS after almost four decades on the air: “Kind of a surprise. He said he wants to play ball for the White Sox.”

Mah-jong scandal: Track & Field News reported that the official China Sports Daily recently criticized athletes for their moral weaknesses.

“In fact,” the Chinese paper wrote, “among athletes there are many cases of smoking, drinking, playing mah-jong and gambling. Some also fight, argue, steal things and arrange it so men and women live together as couples.”

Just wondering: Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Just one thought about Dan Jansen throwing out the first pitch at the A’s home opener: How many chances does he get?”

The rifleman: Phoenix Sun Coach Paul Westphal on Dan Majerle’s shooting range: “If he was in a Western, he’d be the guy with the long rifle who shoots the (bad guy) off his horse from a mile away.”

Macho man: Even though Sherman Douglas’ nose was broken recently by New York Knick forward Charles Oakley’s errant elbow, the Boston Celtic guard refuses to wear a protective mask when he plays.

“Real men don’t wear no mask,” Douglas said.

Hey, Sherman, how about the Lone Ranger?

“Idiots” alerted: Cleveland Indian Manager Mike Hargrove set himself up for some hate mail when he was asked by a TV person, with camera rolling, what he learned from last season.

“Not to listen to any radio sports talk shows, because of all the idiots who call in,” Hargrove replied.

Long distance: St. Louis Cardinal trainer Gene Geiselmann on an estimated 470-foot home run by the Texas Rangers’ Juan Gonzalez against St. Louis:

“The ball went farther than I ever went on a vacation as a kid.”

Trivia answer: Harrick has an 8-10 record; 1-4 at Pepperdine, 7-6 at UCLA.

Quotebook: Houston Oiler Coach Jack Pardee on the new two-point conversion rule in the NFL: “It’s another way to lose a game.”