Friends, Family Mourn Death of Honors Student : Crime: Mina Castaneda ignored pleas to leave her abusive husband, who is charged in the killing.

Every time Mina Castaneda vowed to leave her abusive husband, something--his brooding charm, her desire to help him, her fear of what he would do if she walked--always brought her back home.

And on Friday, Castaneda’s best friend, Connie Carrillo, sat in a mustard-yellow auditorium and mourned her death.

“I went to the hospital before I got out of my marriage,” Carrillo remembered telling her 25-year-old friend. “Don’t you wait as long as I did.”

But Castaneda waited even longer. On April 2, the Oxnard resident died of a bullet wound to the head--the work, prosecutors say, of her husband, Jose.

On Friday afternoon, about 100 of Castaneda’s acquaintances and loved ones squeezed into the small auditorium at Oxnard College. They remembered the community college student whose dreams of being a teacher came to an abrupt end last weekend, and they began planning a scholarship fund for the 3-year-old daughter she left behind.

“I pulled into the (college) parking lot on Monday and that’s when I realized,” said Louise Vincent, a friend who worked with Castaneda at the on-campus children’s center. “Those of you who remember Mina remember her big, white Cadillac.”

Laughter erupted from the audience.

“I called it the Queen Mary. Everything she needed was in the trunk of the Queen Mary,” Vincent said. “I realized I would never see the Queen Mary in the parking lot again.”

Castaneda enrolled at Oxnard College three years ago, about the same time that her new husband went behind bars for an armed robbery conviction. Living with her parents while caring for then-newborn Josalynn, Castaneda enrolled her daughter at the on-campus children’s center and soon found work there herself.

“She was very bubbly, friendly, always laughing,” said Jill Olsen, who worked with Castaneda in past semesters. “She always looked on the bright side of things.”

Immensely popular with co-workers, Castaneda received consistent promotions, climaxing this school year when the center’s director awarded her her own afternoon class to supervise.

Castaneda’s days revolved around the preschool. Even in the mornings, when she had classes to attend, she would drop by the center to help with the children’s snacks.

An honors student with a string of scholarships to her name, Castaneda was to graduate in May with a dual degree in liberal arts and child development. Friends said she planned to enroll at Cal State Northridge in the fall and work toward obtaining teaching credentials.

But last May, Jose Castaneda got out of prison, and Mina Castaneda’s life underwent a radical change.

Sometimes, Carrillo remembered, Jose acted like the picture of the perfect husband--doting, caring, gentle. But at times, especially as the months wore on, he was abusive, hateful and unconcerned with the events in his wife’s life, Carrillo said.

“Every time he drank, he would beat her,” she said. “He didn’t really care about her life, and she was depressed.”

The two had met about seven years ago, while they were both employed at a local pizza restaurant. They married at the courthouse in 1990 on the day of his conviction for armed robbery, said Jim (Jimbo) Heiney, a close friend of Mina Castaneda since high school. Josalynn was born while her father was in prison.

Friends at Oxnard College said Mina Castaneda largely kept her troubles to herself, presenting only the sunniest of exteriors to the world around her.

“She had so many hopes and prayers that he would come out and they would have a ‘Brady Bunch’ lifestyle,” Heiney said. “But he got out, and that’s when all hell broke loose.”

Time and again, she showed up on Heiney’s doorstep, vowing that this week, this month, she was really going to pack her bags and leave Jose. But each time, she ended up returning home.

“She never wanted to give up on anything,” Heiney said.

Eventually, however, Mina Castaneda decided to get a divorce, Carrillo said. She even filled out the necessary legal papers and dated them April 1, planning to file them on April Fool’s Day, Carrillo said.

But on March 31, Mina and Jose Castaneda reconciled. And on Saturday, at a friend’s house in Santa Paula, Jose shot and killed Mina Castaneda during an argument, according to police investigators.

The district attorney’s office on Friday charged Jose Castaneda with murder and unlawful possession of a firearm. He will be arraigned Monday in Ventura County Municipal Court.

Josalynn has been placed in foster care, but Mina Castaneda’s brother, Mike Brenner, 27, said he has vowed to his dead sister that he will fight to adopt the little girl.

Meanwhile, at Oxnard College, students struggle to grasp with the implications Mina Castaneda’s death may have on their own lives.

“I teach a single-parenting class, and it really shook my students up,” Oxnard College counselor Betty Sahota said. “Some said, ‘You know, one day, that may be me.’ ”