Movie Review : 2,000 Years of ‘Being’ Go Awry

With a film like “Being Human,” there is no point belaboring the obvious. Misconceived, misguided and a completely miserable viewing experience, this is one to avoid at all costs and for all time.

Given that it stars Robin Williams, was produced by David Puttnam and directed by Bill Forsyth, the fact that “Being Human” appeared in theaters with little advance warning or publicity was not the best of signs. Still, no one could have predicted what a colossus of tedium it turned out to be.

Williams stars as a character named Hector, an Everyman type who is shown trying to muddle through life as best he can in five different epochs in history. There is a modern story, one set in the Bronze Age, one involving a Roman slave, another showing a soldier returning from the Crusades and a final episode about a Portuguese nobleman shipwrecked in Africa.

It is difficult to convey how unconvincing in every respect each of these tales are, how ineptly they relate to one another and how little they add up to. In fact, apart from the vague notion that human beings are fond of love and emotional connection, it is hard to tell exactly what this film is trying to convey.

Writer-director Forsythe, so adept when dealing with his native Scotland in films like “Gregory’s Girl” and “Local Hero,” has fearfully overreached himself in attempting to portray 2,000 years of human history. None of the cast, not even John Turturro, can survive its bathetic qualities, and poor Robin Williams can do no more than look increasingly worried as the film goes on and on.

Perhaps the single most irritating aspect of “Being Human” is its nauseating, insufferably coy voice-over narration, read by Theresa Russell sounding like Cybill Shepherd. Devoid of energy and wit, the only purpose this film serves is making every other failed film you’ve seen this year look much better by comparison.

* MPAA rating: PG-13, for language and “elements of sensuality and violence.” Times guidelines: It includes a bloody suicide and a botched hanging. ‘Being Human’

Robin Williams: Hector

John Turturro: Lucinnius

Anna Galiena: Beatrice

Vincent D’ Onofrio: Priest

Hector Elizondo: Dom Paulo

Lorraine Bracco: Anna

Lindsay Crouse: Lindsay Crouse

An Enigma production, released by Warner Bros. Director Bill Forsyth. Producers Robert F. Colesberry, David Puttnam. Screenplay Bill Forsyth. Cinematographer Michael Coulter. Editor Michael Ellis. Costumes Sandy Powell. Music Michael Gibbs. Production design Norman Garwood. Art director Keith Pain. Running time: 2 hours, 2 minutes.

* In general release throughout Southern California.