Laid bare: In reporting that Caltrans had...

Laid bare: In reporting that Caltrans had renamed a street near Gorman after Smokey the Bear, we recalled--with some sadness--the incompatibility of the real-life Smokey and his mate, Goldie. The couple produced no offspring and, in 1975, during Smokey’s otherwise dignified retirement ceremony in Washington, D.C., Goldie reportedly even took a swing at him.

This prompted a note from John Webster of Rancho Palos Verdes, who enclosed a possible explanation for their problems in the form of a cartoon from an old issue of Playboy magazine. It depicted an amorous-minded Smokey being pushed away by his spouse, who growls:

“Not until you take off that silly hat.”

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List of the Day: With summer approaching, we thought we’d recite the names of some local businesses that conjure up an image of a day at the beach.

* Surf Air (Inglewood)

* Surf Cleaners & Laundry (Hermosa Beach)

* Surf Electric (Westminster)

* Surf Fetish (Vernon)

* Surf Liquor (Sunset Beach)

* Surf Market (Long Beach)

* Surf Medical Building (Torrance)

* Surf Radiology Imaging Center (Torrance)

* Surfline Plumbing (Manhattan Beach)

* Surfin Chemical Corp (L.A.)

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Always ready to take on a hot potatoe: Former Vice President Dan Quayle will be one of the guests this morning at a conference about political humor titled, “Do Conservatives Have a Sense of Humor?”

The event is at that Simi Valley laugh factory--the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library.

Quayle, who has a new book out, has been very visible lately and we think we know why. During the 1992 presidential campaign, he was asked by CNN’s Bernard Shaw about his own presidential prospects.

Quayle responded: “Let us see George Bush reelected . . . and then we’ll talk about 1994.”

Good luck in November, Dan.

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Wear a drip-dry suit if you have one: Audrey Kopp of Marina del Rey received a flyer from a company that apparently will clean anything that moves.

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Hooligan alert: A resident wrote to the Pasadena Weekly, acknowledging that World Cup officials in Pasadena should be wary of the possibility of the “mindless ferocity” of visiting fans.

English hooligans? No. German hooligans? No. South American hooligans? No.

He was referring to Raiders hooligans.

miscelLAny:

Some local gay and lesbian vegetarians with a sense of humor have formed a cooking group called Passion Fruits.