RSVP / INTO THE NIGHT : MTV Presents Hollywood, Plugged

The Scene: Saturday’s third annual MTV Movie Awards at Sony Studios. Ultra-loose and goofy, these “alternative” awards are “Better than all those other lame shows,” in host Will Smith’s words. Or as Robin Williams said, “These are the strangest %!*% awards in the world.” The show airs Thursday night. A raucous party followed in a nearby 25,000-square-foot sound stage.

Do They Matter? On the prestigious LaToya Scale, with the Jackson Family Honors at sub-zero and the Oscars at 10, these would rank mid-range. In an analysis that sounded curiously like David Carradine in “Kung Fu,” one studio exec said: “Sometimes things have to mean something. Sometimes they don’t have to mean anything at all.”

Will They Take Over the World? You do get the feeling that this is the future for award shows. That “Yo, give it up for Vladimir and the biochemists!” is how future Nobel Prizes will be awarded.

Who Was There: One guest described the 1,500-strong crowd at the party as “the movie industry, the record industry, the hip people--and us.” Among them were MTV execs Judy McGrath and Tom Freston; Janet Jackson, Pauly Shore, Billy Baldwin, David Spade, Tom Hanks, Kyle Mac-Lachlan, Elle MacPherson, Tom Arnold, Dennis Rodman and, by far the couple who turned the most heads and stopped the most sentences in mid-word: Courtney Love with R.E.M.’s Michael Stipe.

Most Overdone Look: Imagine if there was an Italian gangster character on “Melrose Place.” Now visualize hundreds of short men with thick, slicked-back hair in sports jackets and T-shirts.

Rush Limbaugh Would Never Wear a Dress Like That: One woman took a look at Dana Kennedy, MTV’s most famous right-winger, who was wearing a wild multicolor print patchwork outfit, and said: “But she’s a Republican! And she’s wearing Todd Oldham! It’s soooo wrong!!!”

Thanking the Little People, Circa 1994: In her acceptance speech, Best Villain winner Alicia Silverstone thanked MTV, “and all the people who watch it all day long.”

Quoted: Tom Hanks, who has definitely filled his ’94 award-show quota (“No one should have to see my face on a podium with a microphone again”) said he came for “Philadelphia” because “it means the movie was seen and discussed and was a part of the consciousness of the people who watch MTV, and that’s a good thing.”

It’s Still Rock ‘n’ Roll: The Backbeat band’s contract rider stipulated they had to have a margarita maker in their dressing room. “And they used it all day long,” noted one production exec.

Best Prop: Posed as statues around the party were a half-dozen loincloth-clad bodybuilders covered in what looked like gold paint (it’s actually water-base make-up). They were wearing angels wings and holding film reels. “They look like they’re wearing napkins,” noted one woman appreciatively.