FASHION : We Are Not Amused by Linda Gray’s Queenly Look

Showing they almost have what it takes, the cast of Fox Television’s “Models Inc.” strutted down the runway in a fashion show of Escada’s fall collection last Friday night. Although one or two weren’t quite runway model material, the youthful, attractive actors bedazzled the audience--a bevy of out-of-town network affiliates.

Well, almost everyone. When actress Linda Gray took her bow at the end of the show (her character owns the fictitious modeling agency, so more than bowing wasn’t required), one woman snipped: “She looks like she’s tired of smiling.”

Hmmm, close. We suspect that Gray was the tiniest bit unhappy with her hair and wardrobe. While her “girls” got to slink around in soft suits and long shiny hair, the leggy stunner--who makes strong men weak and young men strong--was dressed and coiffed like a porcelain doll. Who said the queen of a nighttime soap has to look like the Queen?

Afterward, we scanned the crowd at Santa Monica’s trendy Renaissance club for promised “Melrose Place” cast members. Did we miss them? we asked an affable Fox staffer on our way out the door. “Nah,” he said. “It’s a light talent turnout.”

The Sound of One Hand Clapping: Flash forward to Monday night’s trunk show of Donna Karan’s fall collection at Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills. This audience claimed to adore the clothes (except for the woman who declared one illusion net top “way too Madonna”). But they didn’t break into applause till the very end. Is it a trend, or is the miserable heat making everyone blase? Perhaps the line was so wearable, as several fans noted, that no one was thrown into a fit of fury--or ecstasy. For a more conclusive opinion, we asked one of the evening’s bartenders for his take. “The neon colors were great,” he bubbled. Karan’s vivid tones reminded him, he said, of a Pedro Almodovar film.

Don’t Call Them Elitist: Couture gloves by 30 French designers, including Sonia Rykiel, Yves Saint Laurent and Karl Lagerfeld, got their day in the sun at a first-ever glove fashion show in Paris late last week.

The show, according to Associated Press, paired gloves with trendy cat suits and elegant couture outfits. Yves Saint Laurent showed pretty, long mosaic gloves with his miniskirt and red thigh boots. Dior showed a trouser suit with “eyelet”-cut leather gloves and shawl.

Prompted by the renewed interest in hats, luxury glove-makers tested the waters for their product using, but of course, le consumer survey. Paul Rigaudy, president of the French Federation of Leather Gloves, reports: “The survey proved most people don’t think wearing gloves is snobbish.” So there.

Better Gangsters Than Fascists, We Suppose: You might call it tabloid fashion--ripping styles from society’s most notorious characters. Italian designers Dolce & Gabbana found inspiration for their 1995 summer collection in the virile look of Mafia don turncoat Tommaso Buscetta, Reuters reports. “We liked his style,” the designers said in an article they wrote for Turin’s La Stampa newspaper. Buscetta’s style--etched into the minds of Italians through his testimony at televised trials--runs to dark jackets worn over open-necked white shirts, cuffed trousers, shiny shoes and gangster dark glasses.

“It may be provocative,” the designers allow, “but let’s remember this is only a gag. We’re talking about clothes, about an inspiration for style.”

And Speaking of Italians: The Italian World Cup soccer team--which tied Mexico Tuesday--may qualify as the best-dressed off the field in their Giorgio Armani wardrobes. The designer outfitted the team and staff for half price. . . . We’re thinking of taking up the game.

And Speaking of Soccer: Want to look like your favorite soccer player? Well, you could grow a very long red goatee, a la Alexi Lalas, but the less patient can tune in to QVC tonight at 6 p.m. to score World Cup duds.

Walk a Mile in Her Shoes: Deposed talk show hostess Vicki Lawrence has deposited her wardrobe for the canceled “Vicki!” show at the Address, a Santa Monica resale store. Owner Maureen Clavin has about 37 pairs of shoes (Sizes 8 1/2 and 9); 10 suits (Size 12), and an array of costumes the actress wore while performing skits on the show.

Among them: the infamously hideous “Momma” dress (along with “the ugliest shoes you’ve ever seen,” Clavin said); a Madonna costume featuring a bodice with sharply protruding cones, and a chartreuse “Super Vicki” suit, complete with large letter V . Clavin’s selling the costumes by silent auction this month. “People can bid whatever they want--no minimum.” She’ll donate the money to Pediatric AIDS Foundation.

* Inside Out is published Thursdays.