The world’s largest black armband: Sure, it’s...

The world’s largest black armband: Sure, it’s another distinction that L.A. can claim. A black bandage has been wrapped around the City Hall tower for more than six months--not as a symbol of mourning, as some visitors have thought, but as a safety net for earthquake repairs.

Depressing any way you look at it.

So, the City Council has approved a motion by Councilwoman Laura Chick “to evaluate the feasibility of decorating” the net. And Patrick Media Group, the billboard people, have agreed to donate their services. “We’re not saying it should be a mural or a symbol or what,” said Eric Rose, a Chick deputy. “But we should be able to come up with something. We have the most creative artists in the world in Southern California.”

Recommendations are due in three weeks. To do its part, this column is calling upon readers to submit ideas to us in the form of drawings. And, naturally, the most creative will be awarded with prizes from Only in L.A.’s Cave of Wonders. We’ve been trying to get rid of this “My Other Car Is a Zamboni” license plate frame for a long time, anyway.

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Torching Oscar: And, now, the list you’ve been waiting for, Hollywood’s “Top 10 Welding Movies of All Time,” as selected by the Miami-based American Welding Society:

1. “Flashdance” (1983): “Arguably the best welding movie ever made.”

2. “Under Siege” (1993): “A favorite among underwater welders.”

3. “Aliens” (1986): “In space, no one can hear you weld.”

4. “The Abyss” (1990): “Another fine welding feature.”

5. “Radio Flyer” (1992): “In a moment of tenderness, the usually abusive stepfather--welding mask on--shows (his sons) how to ‘lay a bead.’ ”

6. “Gung Ho” (1986): Auto industry film is “a cult favorite among members of the American Welding Society, Detroit section.”

7. “The Hunt for Red October” (1991): “If you’ve worked in shipbuilding, this film’s for you.”

8. “Alien” (1979): “Sigourney Weaver soldering together the android Ash. . . .”

9. “The Road Warrior”(1981): “Not all futuristic visions of welding are pretty.”

10. “Swing Shift” (1984): “A favorite among welding wives.”

What--no movies starring Tuesday What’s-her-name?

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Stop him before he mails again! “I guess I’m a federal offender,” quipped William Bow of Alhambra, who had one letter returned to him by postal authorities, who had welded a terse sticker to the envelope. (see inset)

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His lucky number? Numerologists no doubt are following the still-uncertified City Council election in Long Beach--the one in the 7th District. You may recall, that Tonia Reyes Uranga appeared to be leading by seven votes when the balloting was completed Election Day--the 7th of June. But, in a recount, the clerks found several uncounted ballots, giving opponent Mike Donelon a one-vote lead. Uranga’s forces are examining the questionable ballots, pending a final declaration.

But fate may be on Donelon’s side, given the number of letters in his last name.

miscelLAny:

If what Princess Di says is true, we wish to apologize to her on behalf of all Angelenos. She says she was photographed by a camera hidden in the ceiling while she worked out in a London gym. Her lawyers say a permanent injunction has been issued forbidding distribution of the photos by the gym, whose name--we’re sad to say--is: LA Fitness.