No time for jokes: Drivers baking in...

No time for jokes: Drivers baking in a midday traffic jam on the Ventura Freeway near Hayvenhurst Avenue may have been too steamed too appreciate the irony that the cause was malfunctioning sprinklers.

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Eat and don’t run: Ray Rosenbaum noticed that the sign in front of one Hollywood restaurant seems to warn that customers would be advised not to leave.

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The butler of the ‘90s: Ivor Spencer of London, who runs an international school for butlers, writes to say that he’ll be paying a visit soon to sell Hollywood on the new, updated Jeeves.

“Our Butler Administrators will take a special course in karate, gun training and evasive driving,” Spencer said. “For the first time, the rich and famous will be able to engage one person who is a highly trained all-arounder.

“The Butler Administrator will be able to serve all meals and book travel and hotels. He will have an intensive course from a top American show biz lawyer and a top American accountant specializing in contracts. And he will take a course in lighting, sound systems and understand the show biz scene.”

Jeeves won’t do all this for peanuts, either. “His salary will be $60,000,” Spencer said, “and he will expect, at no charge, private medical care and use of a car, laundry and cleaning services.”

Don’t think we’d argue with one of these Jeeves.

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Instant car pool! Nancy Cable of Woodland Hills found what appears to be a singles car ad for a VW whose accessories include a marriage partner.

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Do Not Pass the Four-Level Interchange--Do Not Collect $300: Ever notice how driving the freeways in this recession gives you the chance to fantasize about playing a real-life version of Monopoly?

In one bottleneck on the San Diego Freeway, we noticed a sign advertising the availability of an empty parking structure. (Just the place to store our two old Volkswagens.) On the Santa Ana, the Radisson Hotel’s marquee--once the source of a daily witticism--now offers this sad commentary on the times: “HOTEL FOR SALE.”

And, for commuters who prefer a building with more bed space, a sign on the Hollywood Freeway indicates there’s still time to put in a bid on the old Queen of Angels Hospital.

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Angels coming and going: A few months ago, the Hotel Intercontinental on Bunker Hill shut down its Angel’s Flight restaurant. This followed the failure of another diner of the same name that inhabited a revolving room atop the Hyatt Regency Hotel Downtown.

But old-timers will be happy to hear that Angel’s Flight, the cable car service, may be returning soon.

The trolley system, which billed itself as the world’s shortest railway, ferried customers up and down Bunker Hill from 1901 until 1968 for a nickel apiece. Construction is due to begin this December on the new railway, which will parallel 4th Street. Service could resume as early as December, 1995, possibly using the original cable cars, Olivet and Sinai.

No offense to the Hyatt and Intercontinental. But if we had to choose one Angel’s Flight to have around, it would be this one.

miscelLAny:

The marquee on a Malibu movie theater on Pacific Coast Highway has abbreviated the title of the film based on the Tom Clancy bestseller to read, “C & P Danger.” Which is fine, except that just down the road there’s another establishment known to locals as C & P. It’s Carlos & Pepe’s--a restaurant.