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Talking out of school: Those “My Kid...

Talking out of school: Those “My Kid Is On the Honor Roll of. . . .” bumper stickers, which some drivers view as one more annoyance on the freeway, have inspired some not-so-kind parodies. One takeoff brags about the driver’s dog. Another, spotted by J.R. Cline of L.A., proclaims: “My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Roll Kid.”

We can’t blame parents for exhibiting the serious ones. What are they supposed to do when the schools give the bumper stickers to the kids? On the other hand, maybe Dad or Mom could try this ploy on the kid: “I’m so proud of you I’m going to mount this on a wall in my study!”

We suspect, though, that the abbreviated report cards will continue to crop up on bumpers.

The most recent takeoff we saw was on a woman’s car on the 605 Freeway. It said: “My Husband Is on the Honor Roll at the Institute for the Sexually Gifted.” She was driving alone, which made us wonder. We know she doesn’t have to worry about her husband’s grades at the school. But what about his extracurricular activities?

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High school confidential: Speaking of students, one common denominator in several high-visibility court cases has been the presence of an alumnus of West L.A.'s Hamilton High.

Robert L. Shapiro, one of O.J. Simpson’s attorneys, is a Hami grad, as is Superior Court Judge Stanley M. Weisberg, the presiding judge in both the Menendez brothers trial and the first Rodney G. King trial.

Another ex-Hamiltonian is Gerald L. Chaleff, the attorney for defendant Neil Woodman in the so-called “Ninja Killer” case. Woodman’s brother, Stewart, has been convicted of first-degree murder in connection with the shooting death of the brothers’ parents. The Woodmans also attended Hamilton, by the way.

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We shouldn’t forget that Alexander Hamilton died in a high-visibility shooting himself at the hands of Aaron Burr in a duel in 1804. The shooting resulted in no court action.

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Just the thing to wash the non-honor roll kid’s mouth out with: Nancy Cable of Woodland Hills found an ad for a soap that comes in several different tastes.

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List of the Day: The city Recreation and Parks Commission recently announced that a park in Pacoima would be named after the late rock ‘n’ roller Ritchie (“La Bamba”) Valens. This being Southern California, celebrity names are attached to all sorts of sites. Some examples:

* Johnny Carson Draw Board, UCLA Tennis Center

* Raymond Burr Greenhouses, Cal Poly Pomona

* Anthony Quinn Library, East L.A.

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* Dan Blocker State Beach, Malibu

* Dennis the Menace Park, Downey

* George Burns Road, L.A.

* Peter Strauss Ranch, Agoura

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* Steven Spielberg Music Scoring Stage, USC

* George Lucas Instructional Building, USC

* Johnny Carson Television Center, USC

Then there’s the Smothers Theater at Pepperdine University, which visitors often assume was named in honor of comics Dick and Tommy. Actually, it was named after donor Frances Smothers. But, a few years ago, the duo arranged to play a concert in the building on a certain Sunday in May so that the event could be billed as:

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“The Smothers Brothers at Smothers on Mother’s Day.”

miscelLAny:

A clothing shop in Studio City has hung out this sign of the times: “May Be Going Out of Business Sale.”


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