Specter of AIDS Worries a Third of Dating Adults : Concerns Are Apparent Even Amid Talk of Celibacy and Monogamy

A third of single adults in Orange County who are dating consider AIDS a significant threat to them, but another third say they are not worried at all.

The sentiments were reflected in a Times Orange County Poll conducted in June among 500 unmarried adults in Orange County. Those who said they were currently dating were asked “How much do you worry about getting AIDS from people you date?”

Thirty-two percent said they worried “a great deal,” and 35% said they were worried only “somewhat” or “a little.” Thirty-three percent said they worried “not at all.”

The results are significant because they show a rather high level of anxiety, said Mark Baldassare, a UC Irvine professor of social ecology who conducted the poll for The Times. “The fact that one in three worries suggests there is a lot of nervousness about AIDS in the singles community.”

In Orange County, where 2.58 million people live, about 2,000 have died of AIDS and an estimated 14,000 are infected with the AIDS virus.

Health officials have tried to slow the spread of the disease through safe-sex education campaigns. Last year, Orange County reported fewer new cases of AIDS per capita than did California or the nation as a whole.

Experts noted that many heterosexuals feel relatively invulnerable when it comes to AIDS. A decade ago AIDS struck gays and intravenous drug users almost exclusively in the United States. But nationwide, AIDS from heterosexual contact grew from 2% of all new cases in 1985 to 9% in 1993, while new cases from gay sex have dropped from 66% to 47%.

“I usually use condoms,” said a 33-year-old Huntington Beach woman who asked not to be identified. “But there have been times when I think, ‘Oh, he’s a nice guy. He’s safe.’ I’m not saying it’s smart--I know I must sound really foolish.”

Many say they have adopted celibacy as a defense.

“I’m waiting until I’m married to have sex,” said Brian Bivens, 20, a college student in Fountain Valley. “If I were sexually active, I would be very nervous. A lot of my friends are very active, with multiple partners. They say, ‘I’m fine,’ but they don’t know if they’re fine.”

Patricia Nattrass, 58, an escrow officer in Costa Mesa and the mother of three grown children, said she doesn’t bother with romantic relationships anymore: “I’m old and lazy and don’t want to share my bathroom or my closet.” And she finds the prospect of contracting AIDS terrifying. “Sex isn’t worth the risk,” she said.

While Cheryl Zuvich, 38, has not given up on dating, she approaches sexual intimacy with extreme caution. “I’m not promiscuous, so AIDS doesn’t worry me,” said the Anaheim woman, who is a buyer for an oil company.

Zuvich recently divorced after a nine-year marriage. “I guess you could say I’m lucky because I was in a monogamous relationship for so many years,” she said. “When I go into a new relationship, I will insist that safe sex be practiced until both parties agree to testing (for AIDS).”

Others, though, are willing to take a chance. Gabriel Olea Castanol, 20, a college student in Santa Ana, said that he avoids getting AIDS by sleeping with “young women who have never had sex.” Asked how he can be sure that the women he meets in nightclubs are virgins, Castanol said, “That’s a good question. I just take their word for it.”

Dan Tisone, 24, the manager of a purchasing department for an engineering firm in Orange, said he bases his decision on whether to use a condom on the woman’s social class. “I’d be less apt to use a condom with someone from the middle or upper class,” he said.

Julie, 29, an Irvine legal assistant who requested that her last name not be used, said she rarely asks her mate to put on a condom. “I just don’t like them,” she said. “I take the pill, so I don’t have to worry about birth control. Condoms ruin the mood. I don’t have one-night stands, so AIDS seems pretty remote to me.”

Asking a man to wear a condom can be awkward, Julie added: “It’s like you’re accusing him of being bisexual.”

Katie Wills, a 33-year-old bookkeeper in Huntington Beach, has been in a monogamous relationship for about a year and thinks her chances of contracting AIDS are relatively small. Her boyfriend, Perry Allen Palmer, a masonry contractor, said the specter of AIDS has prompted people to commit to long-term relationships. “Values have changed,” the 34-year-old Costa Mesa resident said. “One-night stands are no longer the way to go.”

One gay man who responded to the poll said he does not worry about AIDS despite the fact he has more than one partner. But in a follow-up interview, he explained that he already has tested positive for HIV.

“I always practice safe sex,” said the 46-year-old Santa Ana man, who requested anonymity. However, he avoids directly telling prospective partners that he has AIDS. “Instead, I say to them, ‘I’ll assume you are HIV-positive, and you can assume I’m HIV-positive.’ I don’t want to blurt out my whole history for a onetime encounter. But if someone didn’t want to use a condom, I would tell them no, we can’t have sex.”

Richard Ammon, a Laguna Beach psychologist who specializes in a gay clientele, said most gays indeed practice protected sex today. But, he warned, anecdotal evidence--from both gays and heterosexuals--must be taken with a grain of salt.

“People lie about their sexual behavior,” Ammon said. “They know that the politically correct thing to say is, ‘I only practice safe sex.’ They are aware of what they should be doing, but they don’t always do it.”

TIMES ORANGE COUNTY POLL: Wary Bedfellows

Great fear of contracting AIDS is more common among Orange County’s female singles than it is among men. And monogamous individuals, regardless of sex, are more fearful than those who are celibate and who have multiple partners.

How much do you worry about getting AIDS from people you date?

Multiple Total Men Women Celibate Monogamous partners A great deal 32% 29% 35% 25% 36% 29% Somewhat 20% 24% 16% 21% 18% 27% A little 15% 17% 13% 16% 17% 12% Not at all 33% 30% 36% 39% 29% 32%

Note: Some numbers do not add to 100% because of rounding

Source: Times Orange County Poll