Cruise: Tips : Top Ten : SKILLS YOU’LL LEARN ON A CRUISE THAT YOU PROBABLY WON’T NEED ASHORE

1. Finding a clean, dry seat on a tender.

2. Figuring out where you are in latitude and longitude.

3. Learning how to ask your waiter for more iced tea, in Italian.

4. Making a macrame frog. . .or turning a napkin into a swan.

5. Lifting your feet when you enter a bathroom.

6. Deciphering public address announcements from the bridge.

7. Dancing the cha-cha with a person of the same sex. . .while you are seasick.

8. Pronouncing the name Kjell correctly (it’s CHEL .)

9. Stuffing two weeks’ worth of clothes into four tiny drawers.

10. Retaining your composure when you flush a vacuum-powered toilet.