Icon of an Idealized Past : Harriet Nelson’s death is a reminder of modern family plight

“The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,” the popular old television show, portrayed the ideal family of the 1950s. The death this week of the highly respected Harriet Nelson provides a sad reminder of the fading of the traditional two-parent family.

Of course the show, as its late co-star herself often emphasized, was intended as entertainment, not as a documentary on American family life. But her death reminds us anew that the two-parent family is close to becoming the exception rather than the rule.

Barely a majority of American children, only 50.8%, now live in a nuclear family--and that figure is expected to fall further unless some dramatic and fundamental change can be achieved. Unwed mothers get much of the blame in political rhetoric and bear most of the stigma. Divorce, however, is also a major contributor. William J. Bennett, a writer, a conservative and a former federal drug czar, recently pointed out the lack of stigma attached to wealthy, older men leaving their first wives and children for a younger wife. Bennett, speaking last month to a convention of the religious right, argued that the damage of divorce is worse than the damage that some Christian fundamentalists have attributed to homosexuality.

Marital breakups (the majority of U.S. marriages don’t last) sometimes are benign; some are actually in the best interest of the children. However, many divorces push families into poverty. And though children raised by single parents often excel, statistically they are more likely to drop out of school, have trouble finding work and to become single parents themselves.

In real life, Harriet Nelson’s parents separated. The “good old days” weren’t good for everyone. But 40 years ago most children lived with both parents, like in “Ozzie and Harriet.” Times, alas, are changing.