From Ashes, a Dance of Life : For Fire Victims, the Steps to Healing Are Mental <i> and</i> Physical

They call themselves the “fire tribe,” this group of 11 women whose bonds were forged in the grief, rage and renewal they have experienced since their homes were lost to the flames.

Stunned by their own reactions to the destruction of their houses and all their belongings in the October, 1993 firestorm, the women were among numerous Laguna residents who sought help from psychologists and counselors in the first weeks after the blaze.

But unlike most other support and therapy groups that sprang up here in the wake of the fire, this one continued throughout the year, disbanding officially--and emotionally--only last week.

Its members say they found the group a “space to heal,” as one put it, a haven in which to explore and compare feelings about their loss.

“Had I not been in this group, I would have buried a lot of feelings and maybe never have really recovered,” Dorothy Thurman, a graphic designer, said during their final session.

As they recovered, the group members taught therapists Ellen McGrath and Karen Bohan about the value of innovative treatment strategies that could have far-reaching implications for victims of other kinds of trauma, McGrath and Bohan say.

“We learned so much from this experience, we really feel like we gained more than we gave,” said McGrath, a clinical psychologist who, like Bohan, donated her time to lead this therapy group and others.

Among the lessons they learned, McGrath said, was the value of group rather than individual therapy for trauma victims, and how techniques often used for treating depression were also helpful in the treatment of trauma.

“That’s what really blew us away,” said McGrath, who is nationally recognized for her research on women and depression. “In some cases, these strategies were even more effective in quickly resolving trauma than in dealing with depression.”

The therapists, both of whom had previously worked with trauma victims, said they realized even more clearly than before how vital it was for those who have suffered a loss or other emotional shock to progress through four steps toward recovery.

The steps include the initial phase of emotional--and, in some cases, physical--shutdown; the “feelings” stage, where emotions about the trauma trickle and eventually flood in; the “action” phase, where physical activity, including anger release, are important, and the “integration” stage, in which the recovering clients are able to use the knowledge they have gained.

At their final meeting in the rented Laguna home of two members, the women sat comfortably on sofas, their trust and affection for each other evident from the outset. The group’s members, most of them professionals, ranged in age from mid-20s to mid-60s and include former homeowners and former renters.

“There is no age difference here,” said Joye Fromong, a 64-year-old retired school counselor, gazing fondly at those gathered about her. “There is no economic difference here. It never mattered whether people lost a home or an apartment; the fire was simply a thing that happened to all of us.”

But many of their early meetings were so intense and emotional that one member, choreographer Gaila Lebherz, dropped out after one session, overwhelmed by the heart-rending stories she heard. One month later, unable to sleep or to stop crying, she returned at the urging of her husband.

“That time, it felt better to me . . . and I immediately bonded with all these other women,” said Lebherz, 43. “This was a group of people who were not afraid to share their deep feelings, who weren’t in denial. It was a great relief to go in there and be real.”

The group members quickly discovered that they shared such stress-related symptoms as waking up at 3 a.m., often for months after the fire. They found relief and laughter in their shared feelings of irritation at the well-meaning but often awkward efforts of many people to help them.

Immediately after the fire, for instance, residents of Laguna and other nearby communities tried to help their stricken neighbors by donating thousands of pounds of used clothes and shoes. But some of the clothing was torn or stained, leaving the recipients struggling with feelings of resentment.

“You were supposed to be grateful, but instead you felt resentful and then so awful about feeling that way,” Lebherz said. “But everybody in the group would jump up and say, ‘Yes!’ whenever you said something like that. It really helped us let go of the guilt.”

They also pushed each other to recover, providing support even as they refused to allow one another to deny their continuing feelings of grief or anger.

“Sometimes it seemed like each meeting took me back to the terrible despairing place I’d been right after the fire, but it was all right,” writer Bobbie Chalmers said. “For my own protection, I’d grown a scab and then I’d come here each week and it would be picked at. But it helped.”

Gradually, along with the talking, McGrath and Bohan began to use a variety of “action strategies,” some of which McGrath had come up with for a 1992 book on depression, “When Feeling Bad Is Good.”

“Women often don’t tend to take action in these situations,” McGrath said. “And even if they can’t take actions that deal directly with the catastrophe, they can start with these strategies as a way to build up energy and start to think clearly.”

In contrast, men are better than women at taking action in the wake of a trauma, but often don’t talk through their feelings or stay emotionally connected to those around them, she said. As a result, many men who lost homes in the fire have not yet begun to come to terms with the experience, she said.

Many of the techniques McGrath suggested proved extraordinarily effective for the group members, including journal-writing and anger release strategies such as ripping old phone books or pounding pillows.

But for many, the single most therapeutic technique was an experiment in dance therapy, led by Lebherz, who choreographed a dance about her own fire experience and then taught it to the group.

The dance, in which some performers play the role of victims and the others the fire, had a powerful impact, releasing still-buried feelings of fear and anger, the group members said.

It also has inspired Lebherz to return to school. At McGrath’s suggestion, she auditioned for UCLA’s dance therapy program, was accepted and received a full scholarship to pursue a master’s degree in the innovative therapy, which she hopes to use to help other trauma victims.

After 20 years of teaching modern dance, “this is just kind of stunning for me,” Lebherz said last week. “I’ve always been involved in dance as a performing art, but this has expanded my whole perspective to the way it can be used as a healing art.”

Others also pursued creative outlets. Chalmers, a free-lance writer, found that the fire and its aftermath released a flood of emotions and creativity. Over the months, she has written many poems about the fire and shared them with the group.

Several, including Fromong, began keeping journals, writing movingly of their feelings of frustration, anger and grief about the fire. Fromong said the journal also helped her to make it through another stressful event, a recent visit to her terminally ill mother in Illinois.

Instead of focusing solely on her mother’s situation and her own fears about impending death, Fromong said, the journal helped to lift her out of her grief. “It was a matter of focusing, bringing a little reality in instead of dwelling in the land of grief,” Fromong said. “I felt so strong; I would never have been able to handle it so well before.”

The group members say they will continue to talk and even meet periodically, although no longer with McGrath and Bohan. And they say they hope their experience, and the strategies that worked for them, can be used to help others recover from similar traumas.

“You don’t ever want anyone to have to go through what we went through, but the fact is, people will,” said JoHanna Sisson, another retired teacher and school counselor. “I wish we had a book to put in their hands, a group to put them into.

“I guess we’d just all like to tell them that they don’t have to start at the beginning.”