Actors without scripts: Miffed over the no...

Actors without scripts: Miffed over the no smoking regulations in restaurants here, actor Liam Neeson describes Los Angeles as “such a fascist place” in the December issue of Vanity Fair. You would think that Neeson would be more careful with that term, inasmuch as he played the title character in “Schindler’s List,” the story of a real “fascist place.”

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He’s just trying to clean up L.A.: A day after we mentioned a couple of L.A. cop novels by Joe Wambaugh, we heard about a scene that Wambaugh could have written.

It seems that a guy with a bucket full of water and some rags and sponges blithely walked into the county Beaches and Harbors office in Marina del Rey and began washing down the walls.

Staffers assumed he was with maintenance until he indicated he was in business for himself. “Much magic! Much magic!” he repeated as he attempted to sell a cleaning product.

He was given the boot--and promptly walked into the sheriff’s substation next door. Again, he strolled past the front desk and entered the holding tank area. He was busily washing down more walls when he accidentally pressed a button.

Deputies sprinted in, their guns drawn.

Suffice it to say, it was another no-sale for the mysterious cleaning man.

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Real Estate Gambit No. 5,212: “Free O.J. . . .” begins the for sale ad of a Santa Paula ranch.

It continues:

“Comes with the purchase of this 27-acre . . . (blah, blah, blah). “

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Low tech: Donald Bentley, meanwhile, gives a failing spelling grade to the writers of a brochure for a Bellflower college.

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Hot sounds?Janet Chang of Northridge found an ad for a “4-Head Hi-Fi Stereo” that looks as though it would be better used to warm up cold cuts.

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Letter imperfect: We mentioned recently the letter addressed to a Whittier Drive resident in Beverly Hills--the problem being that the “W” in Whittier had been replaced by another letter that would lower anyone’s property values.

But these things balance out. The mailman brought Cynthia Petrovic, a San Fernando Valley resident, a letter that misspelled her hometown as “Funland.”

miscelLAny Mayor Fidel Vargas of Baldwin Park is featured in Time magazine’s “50 for the Future,” its survey of “America’s most promising leaders age 40 and under.” Vargas, who is way under 40 (he’s 26), was briefly denied entrance to a nightclub two years ago because he had forgotten his ID. Eventually, he was allowed to enter, which was fortunate. The event was Vargas’ inaugural party.