Navigators’ Errors Sink Clipper Ship

A Los Angeles Clipper and his monthly planner:

Wednesday, Dec. 7--”Lose to Bucks at Sports Arena. Drop to 0-17. Tie NBA record for worst start to a season.”

Friday, Dec. 9--”Lose to Lakers at Forum. 0-18. New NBA record.”

Wednesday, Dec. 14--”Lose to Blazers in Portland. 0-20. Tie NBA record for longest losing streak within a single season.”

Thursday, Dec. 15--”Lose to Warriors at Pond. 0-21. New NBA record.”

Tuesday, Dec. 20--”Lose to Sonics in Seattle. 0-23. Tie ’61 Phillies for longest single-season losing streak by major professional sports team.”

Wednesday, Dec. 21--”Lose to Magic at Sports Arena. 0-24. Tie longest losing streak in professional sports history, held by Cavaliers, who lost last 19 games of ‘81-’82 season and first five of ‘82-’83.”

Friday, Dec. 23--”Lose to Bullets at Sports Arena. 0-25. We’re all alone.”

Merry Christmas, Clipper fans, from Donald T. (Ebenezer) Sterling and all the great minds in the basketball operations department.

Who’d have thought it--the Clippers, the hottest story in the NBA?

They said it would never happen in Sterling’s lifetime, but there they are, leading off the nightly sports news shows, as they did Monday night following their 32-point loss to Charlotte. After 16 games and 16 defeats, the national Clipper watch has officially begun, with camera crews and general-assignment reporters hitching on for the record-breaking ride for as long as it may run.

And it could go a ways.

The schedule, as you might have guessed, doesn’t favor the Clips.

Already, the Clippers have blown their BCTWTM for December. Best Chance To Win This Month--it’s a new statistic kept by writers assigned to the Clipper beat.

Last month, it was the Nov. 25 game against New Jersey at the Sports Arena. Home game, struggling opponent with a bench full of head cases, Bill Fitch’s last place of employment--BCTWTM, by unanimous agreement.

The Clips lost by a point, 98-97.

This month, the nod went to last Saturday’s game against Minnesota. The T-Wolves were 2-11, the game was at home. For the Clips, it had all the makings of A Fighting Chance.

They lost by eight, 103-95.

Now where will Fitch’s 846th career victory come from? (The old coach has been stuck on 845 since April, 1992, before he and the Nets went their separate ways and Fitch embarked upon what was supposed to be a long and enjoyable retirement. You know the rest of the sad story.)

On paper, tonight’s game against Milwaukee has possibilities; the Bucks have been flopping around lately and could be tired after going four quarters with the Kings Tuesday night in Sacramento. But who’s going to stop Glenn Robinson? Matt Fish? Tony Massenburg? The Sports Arena security force?

Plus, the Bucks have contracted Clipper Dread, a severe emotional disorder that began afflicting Clipper opponents a half-dozen games ago. Symptoms: sweaty palms, accelerated heart beat, intense fear of humiliation through being known as the first team to drop one to the hapless Clips.

At 0-5 and 0-6, the Clippers were just another team off to a slow start. Lose to them then and it’s no disgrace. Just an off night. Happens to everybody. At 0-6, the Clippers still could “sneak up” on an opponent.

No more. The Clips’ 0-16 has become the NBA’s scarlet letter. What looked like a breather on a team’s schedule two months ago has now become a must-win test of one’s manhood. Now, teams brace themselves for games against the Clippers the same way they did against the Michael Jordan Chicago Bulls. We cannot be the first, players tell each other in the locker room before tipoff, psyching themselves up.

From now until (if?) the streak is snapped, all Clipper games carry this assurance: Opponents will approach the game as if it was Game 7 of the NBA Finals.

Because in this case, if you lose, there is a tomorrow--and you will be featured in that day’s Letterman monologue.

The men from Fitch’s motley crew deserve better. Half of them, maybe, deserve to be on an NBA roster, but is that their fault? Who put them in this no-win predicament? Who set them up to fail, night after night after night?

The culprits here are Sterling and his bumbling lieutenants, not Terry Dehere and Malik Sealy. As Fitch and other coaches have testified, the Clippers play hard. They hustle, they dive, they pound, they bleed. They just can’t pass or shoot very well.

Forty percent of the Clippers’ starting lineup was not in the league last season. Twenty percent was not even in the country; forward Massenburg played in Spain last season. Fish, the starting center, was, and remains, a CBA player.

Another 40% rode the bench last season--Pooh Richardson in Indiana, Terry Dehere in Clipsville. That leaves Loy Vaught as the team’s lone legitimate NBA starter. Most nights, that’s one on five. Even Minnesota, the second-worst team in the league, has Christian Laettner, Isaiah Rider and Donyell Marshall. Dallas, which lost 20 in a row last season, has Jim Jackson, Jamal Mashburn and Jason Kidd.

When the Clippers lack the manpower to match up with even the bottom of the NBA barrel, the problem is not what’s on the floor, it’s what’s sitting in the soft leather chairs upstairs.

So after the Clippers lose tonight, let the Thursday morning headlines read: “Sterling Falls To 0-17.” Or: “Elgin & Staff Blow Another One.”

Let’s get the reporting accurate.